


I Love To Hate You

by wolfpawn



Category: Loki Fandom, Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Arranged Marriage, Bickering, F/M, Fighting, Hate, Minor Character Death, Pregnancy, Thrones, Tumblr: imagine-loki, amiable
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-03
Updated: 2017-03-06
Packaged: 2018-09-06 07:19:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 14
Words: 29,668
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8740066
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wolfpawn/pseuds/wolfpawn
Summary: Alexandra is the future queen of Vanaheim and her mother is a close friend of Frigga, so when she and her family come to Asgard for a visit, it is noted how she will require a capable husband by her side for her reign, but Prince Thor is to rule Asgard, leaving Prince Loki as the only possible suitor in the house of Odin, there is only one issue, Alexandra and Loki hate one another. As the years go by, it does not get any better, and when the are wed, they are amiable at their best and still bickering incessantly. How can the rule a realm, much less consider raising an heir together?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Dunno how I came up with this, it's not my usual sort of work and it is not often I decide to formulate my own story, so I am not sure how this will go.

Loki and Thor stood at their mother’s sides, anxiously awaiting the carriages that were making their way from the gates to the palace. They had heard so much of the Vanir royal family from their mother, who had always been the closest friend and confidante of the now Queen of Vanaheim. Thor hopped up and down in excitement; but was quickly reprimand by his parents for his actions, while Loki stood stoic still. The brothers were told that the Vanir royal family had a child very similar to them in age, which to Thor meant the prospect of a new friend; however Loki was more apprehensive than his older brother, he was not as outgoing and preferred quiet and more sedate activities to the other prince. 

As the carriages pulled up in front of the palace, the grandest one came to a halt just in front of them. A coachman opened the ornate door and soon after, the Vanir King exited, followed by his Queen, and finally came a young girl. 

To Loki, the Vanir royals seemed comparable to the Aesir in most every way, just that they were a tad shorter, and though they were identical in features, their attire differed immensely in style. 

“Tatiana.” Frigga beamed as she walked forward to embrace her friend. “It is so good to see you, after all, this time. I am so glad you could make it.”

“Frigga, thank you for your kind invitation. Norn’s but it has been too long.” The two kings were laughing at something beside them as their queen’s spoke, their children standing by their sides. “My word, but how your sons have grown.” Tatiana declared, looking at the princes. “I have not seen them since little Loki was being trained out of his cloths.” Loki reddened visibly in embarrassment as Thor and the young girl both sniggered. 

“It really has been too long.” Frigga agreed. “Alexandra, I finally get to meet you.” She addressed the girl with a genuine smile. “These are my sons, Prince Thor and Prince Loki.” She placed her hand on the head of each of her sons as she stated his name. “And boys, this is Princess Alexandra.” Both princes bowed at the young girl. 

Thor stepped forward with a large grin on his face. “Princess Alexandra, would you care to join my brother and me in the training grounds and watch us spar?” He bowed.

Alexandra looked to her mother excitedly, and her mother gave a small nod so Alexandra turned back around to Thor and smiled in delight. “Thank you for you kind offer Prince Thor, I would love to watch you both. My parents have told me so much of Asgard’s training, it would be an honour to see it first hand, yet not be on the receiving end.” That comment earned her a few chuckles from the adults. 

She walked along beside the two princes to the training arena, speaking animatedly with Thor on a multitude of subjects as Loki remained quiet alongside them, silently listening and not partaking in the conversation. 

When they arrived at the training area, Thor indicated to Alexandra where to stand before the brothers retrieved their training gear and walked into the sand-covered arena. 

“We are proficient in many weapons,” Thor explained as he took a wooden sword and a shield for himself. 

“I see.” Alexandra smiled before she turned to Loki. “Prince Loki, are you going to get a weapon?” She asked as she noted he had yet to choose one. 

“No.” He stated abruptly. Thor frowned at him as Alexandra looked on confused. “I am not being blamed if she gets hurt.” 

“No one is going to get hurt Loki, besides Princess Alexandra is merely watching us, nothing more. And I doubt she is utterly clueless on the matter, she would have had to receive training in defence also, though you are welcome to join us if you which Princess. And were any of us to receive a minor injury, all our parents would see it as a minor side effect of training. So there is no issue.” 

“I will be blamed if anything goes awry, I always am.” Loki barked before walking off. 

“Prince Loki is not as gregarious as you, is he?” Alexandra asked, watching the younger Aesir prince leave. 

“I fear the last thing you can accuse my brother of being is gregarious Princess Alexandra,” Thor informed her. “So, care to see which one of us is the better fighter?” 

X X X X X

“What in the realms?” Odin bellowed as the two youngsters returned to the great halls of the palace. 

“Oh for goodness sake Odin, they were in the training grounds, it is not as though such things never happen there. There is always a chance of such incidents. You are alright Alexandra, are you not?” The girl nodded. “See, her bruises will be healed by dinner.” Her father dismissed. 

“Nonetheless, Thor, you should not have been so rough, she is of slighter build. And where is Loki?” Odin demanded. 

“He did not partake in the training, he went to the training grounds but then left again,” Thor informed him. 

“Why ever not?” 

“I think it was that he did not wish to risk being shown up in a fight to a girl.” 

Odin became angered at his younger son’s actions and saw fit to punish him by having him polish armour for an afternoon for his dismissive manner. 

Loki grumbled as he shone the twelfth breastplate, cursing Thor and the princess for revealing he had not done his training. As he inspected a piece of metal, he noticed a reflection on it. “What do you want?” He asked angrily. 

“I’m sorry that you got in trouble,” Alexandra stated. 

“Yeah, then why tell on me? I knew I would get blamed.” He snarled, getting back to the cleaning. 

“You were not blamed for me getting bruised, you were only reprimanded for not training.” Alexandra pointed out. 

“Well no matter what Thor does, he does not get blamed. So I was right regardless. Precious Thor cannot have fault, and neither can you apparently.” 

“What is it you are implying?” Alexandra was becoming indignant. 

“The manner in which you are acting, all high and mighty, just because you will be queen some day.” Loki spat. 

“I came here to help you get this work done, but if you are just going to resort to nasty comments, then forget it, you pompous…” 

“How dare you call me such things.” Loki rose to his feet. 

“Well, you feel as though you have the right to speak in such a manner to me. What’s the matter, can you not take as good as you give?” The princess challenged. 

Irate, Loki left, utterly speechless. 

The remainder of the visit by the Vanir royal family was marked by the younger Aesir prince nigh on refusing to leave his rooms while Alexandra and Thor enjoyed one another’s company. The pair bonding over pursuits such as training and discussing their lessons. 

When the day came for the Vanir family to leave, Loki watched their departure from a window high above, relieved that he would not have to see that vile girl again anytime soon. He walked through the halls happily as he made his way back to the training grounds to make up for lost time. There, he found his brother already holding his own training weapons. 

“You are alive!” Thor declared loudly. “Mother will be most relieved.” 

“Shut up. I hope you had fun with your new girlfriend while she was here.” Loki snapped back. 

“I enjoyed Alexandra’s company immensely, but were we ever to like each other in that manner, it would not be permitted. She is to be the queen of Vanaheim, and I; the king of Asgard.” Thor pointed out. “Not that I see her in such a manner. We just agreed that as the future rulers, we need to be good friends, and thankfully, it appears such will be easy for us.”

Loki picked up his own wooden sword and stretched. “Well off with you both, forgive me if I don’t join you.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki is forced to spend the summer in Vanaheim, which is effectively his version of living Hel.

“No,” Loki stated plainly. 

“I fear you do not get a choice Loki,” Frigga stated in return. 

“When do we leave?” Thor asked, hopping up and down slightly in excitement. 

“Whenever the Hel you want, but I am not going.” Loki reiterated. 

“Enough.” Odin barked. “Loki, you are to go to Vanaheim and spend the summer with the Princess Alexandra whether you like it or not. Thor, you have to remain here and tend to your lessons and training. They are paramount at this time.”

Thor made a sound of indignation. “How come Loki gets to go and I do not? He too has lessons and training.”

“Because you are the special child and future king, while I am merely the pathetic backup in case you are killed by a rampaging bilgesnipe.” Loki snarked, earning him an angry glare from his father, and a clip across his ear from his mother with the aid of her seidr. 

“The bond between the Aesir and the Vanir is the strongest in all the realms, you are to prove yourself Loki as the diplomat that your tutors all claim you to be, do you understand?”

Realising his father was setting him a challenge, and being desperate to earn his respect as Thor seemed to have done so effortlessly, Loki nodded. Though he wished that of all the realms he could end up on, and of all of those who resided on them, he did not have to be forced into the company of the wretched Alexandra. 

The day came for his departure for Vanaheim, and his attitude towards the trip changed little in the time since he was told, he still wanted little to do with the brat that had been so rude to him on her visit to Asgard, and if he were to be completely honest, he did not think Vanaheim to be as advanced as Asgard from what he had studied and learnt of the realm in preparation for his summer there. As the Aesir royal carriage made its way to the Vanir royal palace, he looked out the window and scoffed at the crude methods they had of crafting certain goods rather than utilising the abilities of seidr, however, he was also simultaneously intrigued by the methods they used. 

His mother watched him with interest. “Do you like what you see of Vanaheim, Loki?” he merely gave a grunt and a shrug in reply, earning him a frustrated shake of the head from his mother. 

When the carriage arrived on the palace grounds, he analysed it immediately. It was far smaller than their own and it was not made of gold, but of stone. It was downright primitive in appearance in Loki’s opinion; no matter how they tried to dress it up with fancy designs. When he saw Alexandra standing stoically at her parent’s side, he groaned. 

“Loki,” Frigga warned. 

“But she is insufferable.” 

“How so?” Frigga was unsure she even wished to know the answer to such a question. 

“She is stubborn, over-opinionated, and rude and she thinks she knows everything.” 

“And of course, I have never seen you show any of these traits in your six hundred years.” His mother shook her head and chuckled. 

“I am nothing like her,” Loki stated indignantly. 

“Of course not dear, you are in no way being stubborn by refusing to exit the carriage, which could of course never be construed as being rude and then of course…” the scowl on her younger son's face made her smile even more. “Darling, you always accuse your father of favouring your brother.” Loki gave her a look that indicated that they both knew there was some truth to the accusation. “Vanaheim is our strongest ally, and when the day comes that your father and I are no longer to rule Asgard, she will require her strong links then more than ever. You are a very capable diplomat, you know this. Your father, and indeed I, are very much depending on you for this. Thor has his own set of skills, but this is where you excel far above him, sure he has befriended Alexandra, but you know yourself, that for a court to be satisfied with a King, or indeed a Queen and their decisions, takes a lot more than simple friendship.” 

Loki gave his mother an annoyed glare, knowing she was telling the truth and there was little he could say to counter it. “Fine.” He finally conceded. “How long are we stuck here for?”

“I will be here for a few days.” Frigga began. 

“You’re leaving me?” Loki stared at her in horror. 

“I will return in a few weeks Loki. I have to attend to a few things in Alfheim.” She informed him. “You can do this.”

Annoyed, Loki gave the nod to the coachman to open the door, and he exited. 

“Prince Loki, Frigga,” Tatiana beamed, embracing both the Aesir prince and her friend in turn. “I am so glad that you could come.”

“Thank you so much for the kind invitation.” Frigga smiled in return before she looked to Alexandra, who curtseyed at the Allmother dutifully. “Even in the short time since our last meeting, you have grown considerably Alexandra, and have become even more beautiful.” 

“I thank you, Your Majesty, though I fear I pale in comparison to you.” The young girl curtseyed again. When her gaze fell on Loki, her smile faltered slightly for a moment and her curtsey was not as low as she spoke to him. “Prince Loki, welcome to Vanaheim, I believe it is your first visit.” Her tone was one of forced politeness, something the prince picked up on immediately. 

“It is indeed, princess, it is different to Asgard in many ways, but yet, so similar, from what I have seen at least.” His smile was more of a pained grimace, hating that he had to speak more than basic greeting with her. 

“Well in many respects it is, from my time on Asgard, I made a similar assessment, of course, there are some differences, but they are not as vast as many other realms. I hope you enjoy your stay.” Loki severely doubted she meant that. 

“Alexandra, perhaps you would be so good as to show Loki around after our guests get settled and have had something to eat?” her mother suggested. 

In truth, Alexandra would have rather dig trenches in solid rock than spend the afternoon with the pig-headed infantile boy that had been so inexcusably rude to her for no particular reason. “Of course mother.” She smiled, though it did not reach her eyes. “I shall do so whenever suits his highness.” 

Never, Loki thought to himself, never would suit. “Thank you, princess, I apologise for the inconvenience it will cause you.” 

Both of them remained silent as their mothers discussed different matters as they entered the palace. 

Loki stared at the stone walls, covered in tapestries and paintings, it was far different to Asgard in that respect; such art was only displayed in allocated rooms. One or two paintings drew his attention in particular. He found it peculiar to see that Vanaheim did not consider Jötunheim a threat, having not had conflict with the ice realm or its chief inhabitants. He decided that if the Norn’s decided he needed to be tortured by having to spend some time with the less than amiable and palatable princess, he may as well learn something, so he stored his questions for their impending walk. Loki looked around his room with mild distaste, the colours were not entirely terrible, but it was nowhere near as refined and grand as his own. Sighing he readied for his stay. 

Lunch was a pleasant affair; the food was slightly different to the Aesir’s for the time of year as Vanaheim’s winter occurred during Asgard’s summer. The weather was colder as a result, meaning Loki was going to miss the Aesir summer and in turn the summer games, something he and Thor loved to watch, knowing that as soon as the came of age they would be allowed enter and compete; another reason to loathe his fortunes to be stuck in Vanaheim with Hela incarnate for himself. 

“Alexandra, be a pet and show Prince Loki around.” Her mother stated as the adults settled to beginning discussing matters. 

For a moment, a flicker of distaste flashed over Alexandra’s face, before she schooled a polite smile and nodded, “of course, mother.” She rose from her chair. “Prince Loki, if you would care to follow me.” She barely looked at the prince as she spoke to him, and hardly waited for him before exited the room. 

“Wait up.” He growled. 

“You have considerably longer legs than I, walk faster.” She retorted. 

“Your manner as a host is even more abysmal as that of you as a guest, I did not think such a thing possible.” He snarked. 

“Funny, I was merely mimicking your manners to me at your palace, though I think I am the better host merely by actually remaining in your company and not storming off to my room like a petulant child.” Alexandra never looked at him as she walked forward. 

“Why would I leave it, I do not now, nor ever wish to be in the company of a horrible, conceited, self-obsessed brat.” Loki spat. 

“Well it must be difficult to get away from one's self, you must tell me how you do such a feat?” she asked, her head cocked slightly. 

“You are impossible.” He hissed. 

“I am not a mathematical problem, it is impossible for me to be impossible.” She countered. 

“You are infantile.” He sighed in exasperation. 

“You know, I heard you were able to talk your way out of anything, twist and weave webs of words to confuse any being, a diplomat and a silver-tongue, but truthfully, I am disappointed, I find your skills to be severely lacking.” She dismissed. “I think this tour is over, you clearly are not the least bit interested in any of our palace, you have shown nothing but dislike for it since I lay eye on you in the carriage and I am not the least bit interested in showing it to you for you to ridicule via an internal monologue of ranting.” She began to walk away. “I am aware we are not as great as Asgard, but we are a great realm and to see you come here and scoff at it, it makes me want to slap that filthy smug look off your ratty face with the blade of a battle axe.” She hissed and stormed off, leaving Loki open mouthed in her wake.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A summer together has done little for Alexandra and Loki and when his family come to collect him, they both get given some less than welcome news.

Hel, the one word Loki could think of to describe is time on Vanaheim, and Alexandra was Hela herself. He despised it, all of it, even the fun parts, for he knew, every time he had fun, she would be there, or close by, to ruin it in the end. He watched one afternoon as she spoke to her masters, her teachers of sorts, in the small garden that was attached to the palace; it was pathetic, nothing as beautiful and enthralling as their own; it was a cheap imitation, nothing more. 

He watched as Alexandra smiled and laughed, hearing her voice ring out as she pleaded with one of her handmaids to cease tickling her with a long feather. He looked at her with sheer scorn. She could be polite, almost nice when she chose to be, but with him, she was vicious of tongue, rude and conceited, reminding him all too much of his brother, without the jestful fun that they had intermittently between their arguments. He missed home, missed his rooms and his spell books, Hel, he even missed Thor, though that is something he was not going to admit to aloud. When he looked down at her again, he turned to face the far wall of his room; she had been looking up at him. He rose from his seat and made his way out of his rooms, not wanting to see her again. 

“You know it is rude to spy on people.” He rolled his eyes as he turned to face the Vanir princess. 

“Conceited much?” He retorted. “It is the only window in that prison cell called a room with a half decent view, and even at that it is nothing much, so I have to make do, perhaps it was you spying on me, after all, you can play around anywhere and you chose there.” 

“It is the gardens.” 

“Well perhaps, when you are queen, Norn’s have mercy on us when that does happen, you can have larger ones commissioned so your poor unfortunate guests do not have to look at you as you frequent them.” 

“I was studying flowers, I sort of have to go there to study them, and I cannot have them moved, those grounds were enchanted by your mother so to be enriched enough to grow flora not of this realm.” 

“Norn’s you cannot even grow poppies here, that…that is embarrassing. What do you do if you require it for potions?”

“We swap our ore to Alfheim in trade.” She shrugged. 

Loki frowned. “Alfheim has its own ore.” 

“Yes, iron and copper, but the steel they forge is ours, that is where Vanaheim’s wealth lies, not on the ground, but under it.” She explained. “We only farm because we require some foods, the rest, we trade.” 

“What will you do when the ore runs out?” Loki forgot of his hatred for Alexandra at that moment, his want to learn something new overriding his thoughts of her. 

“We have only scratched the surface of each mine, they are so plentiful, we will not have to worry of such things for several generations at least, and we will ensure enough is kept to keep our people for so many generations to come.”

“But the land will crumble into pits if you mine it all.” 

“We have made an agreement with Niðavellir that for every mine we dig, they will give us rock in refill it to keep the land above as is, for a very good price.”

“You give your ore to all realms, and allow them do what they will, you are not very smart, you give them a means to attack and defeat you and take the ore as theirs.” Loki pointed out. 

Alexandra chuckled, a sly grin on her face. “Perhaps,” she leant in closer, the grin getting bigger. “Perhaps not.”

“That makes no sense.” 

“Well, perhaps some day, if you get anywhere near as good at diplomacy as you were said to have been before your arrival, you will learn a few things of my realm, Prince Loki, but until such times, try not to stare at too many. Lord’s do not take kindly to such around here, especially around women.” 

“I was not…”

“Of course you were not.” She dismissed as she walked away. 

Loki frowned, it was the first time that he had spoken a full conversation with Alexandra where she had not been rude to him start to finish. Shaking his head slightly, he walked on his way again, he had planned to go the direction she had gone, but with her there, he turned on his heels and went the other way instead. 

*

I love to dance, dilly, dilly, I love to sing  
When I am queen, dilly, dilly, You'll be my king  
Who told me so, dilly, dilly, Who told me so?  
I told myself, dilly, dilly, I told me so

Loki listened to the sweet voice singing as he walked down a hallway, it almost felt as though it was singing to him, his heart seemed to pound slightly in his chest, the words themselves barely registering as he sought the singer, he turned another corner, thinking the words were louder there, and his face, and indeed his heart fell. 

“Oh.” Alexandra looked at him in shock, having accidentally bumped into him. “I was not concentrating.” 

“It was you that was singing.” Loki pointed at her. 

Alexandra looked around, “The rest of the hallway is empty, who else could it have been?” she laughed, a brow raised at him. 

“It could not have been.” Loki shook his head. 

Alexandra folded her arms and looked at him challengingly. “And why, pray tell, could it not have been?” 

“It sounded nice.” 

Alexandra scoffed. “Honestly, I did not think it possible to offend and compliment someone simultaneously, I truly did not, but I must commend you, Prince Loki, for you have truly surpassed your rudeness, another idea I thought to be impossible. You are by far, the most horrid creature I have ever had the misfortune to be forced to meet, and to say I look forward to your leaving later this week is something of an understatement, and I mean this next statement with all of my heart. Should you choose to never blacken the doorway of this palace again, you will truly make me the happiest woman in all the realms.” She snapped before turning on her heels and storming off down the hall. 

“Now you have me conflicted,” Loki called after her, causing her to slow slightly. “For I too never want to be here again, but the idea of you being so happy makes me want to take residence here just to spite you.” He grinned as Alexandra shook in anger and continued off. 

*

When his family arrived three days later, Loki honestly felt as though there was no happier being in the realms, he almost felt inclined to embrace his brother, almost. 

“How was your summer, Loki? Vanaheim looks wonderful, did you know, every plate of armour in our army is mined here.” Thor grinned, seeing Loki again. “It is a good thing mother and father are such good friends with King Eoin and Queen Tatiana, and that Princess Alexandra seems just as eager to continue the relations between us all,” Loki said nothing back. “I am so envious Loki, I would have loved to spend the summer here, tell me of all you have done, according to mother, King Eoin has brought you hunting and everything.” 

Loki forced himself to talk, it was true, the king had spent considerable time with Loki throughout his visit, more so than his own father had done in his time off studies during the summers, they went hunting on several occasions and King Eoin had discussed many matters of Vanaheim with him, and had even asked his opinion on many occasion, and taken his advice as his official line on more than one. To Loki, King Eoin had placed more value on him than his father ever had, and though he was glad to be getting away from Princess Alexandra, he had to admit to himself, he would miss that aspect of Vanaheim greatly when he departed. 

“Where is Princess Alexandra, I have not seen her since my arriving?” Thor looked around. 

Actually, now that it was noted, Loki had not seen the terror since dinner the night previous, where her mother and father asked for her to join them in their quarters after the house retired for the evening. The princess seemed somewhat bewildered as to why the made such a request, but nothing in her features had suggested she was in some form of trouble, and her parents seemed somewhat pleased with themselves. “I am not sure, I have not seen her yet today.” He commented, “Thankfully.” 

“I see your time here this summer has not warmed you to her yet.” Thor noticed. 

“‘Yet’, I cannot see myself ever warming to her. She is by far, the most horrible, conceited foul creature in all the realms.” Loki hissed. Thor looked at him worriedly for a moment before erupting in laughter. “What is so funny?”

“You have no idea, do you?”

“Idea of what, what are you blathering on about now you oaf.” 

“Loki, you are in for a very bad day.” Thor chuckled as they continued over to their parents, Loki terrified as to what Thor meant. 

After the smiled and pleasantries with his mother and his father commending him for doing so well with all the challenging King Eoin threw at him, an odd sensation for the young prince, they were joined by an elated Eoin and Tatiana, but still no sign of Alexandra. 

“Is the princess ill?” Thor asked, eager to see Alexandra. 

Tatiana pursed her lips slightly, something Loki noted and took glee in, knowing the princess was clearly in some form of trouble. “No, she is just somewhat moody today I fear. Frigga, if I may discuss such with you for a moment.” Tatiana pleaded her friend to join her. 

“I fear with two sons, I am of little use with daughters.” She laughed as she followed her friend. “Is everything alright Tati?” 

“Alexandra has begun to bleed.” She informed her. 

A look of realisation came to Frigga. “Well, it was bound to happen, and you said yourself, she is somewhat late.” 

“I know it was agreed that it would be announced today, but…”

Frigga frowned. “You wish to delay it?” 

Tatiana shook her head violently. “No, on the contrary, I want it done as soon as possible. She is to be officially made heir because of her current state, so it must be made clear what will be her future, the realm will need to see it is set. She is the first female heir in eight generations.” 

“Then I fail to see the issue Tati,” Frigga shrugged. 

“I told you in my letters, that she and Loki do not see eye to eye.” 

“You did.” 

“She is fighting this.”

“I imagine they both will, but your husband…”

“Is adamant, Loki is the right boy for the role, he will not be swayed, and he has convinced court also, they all agree, Prince Loki is the only plausible candidate.” 

Frigga smiled fondly. “I am elated they think so highly of him.”

“But what will he think?” 

Frigga sighed. “We are royals, we do not get to think on such matters, we can only accept them as they are and work around it. Do you recall when I first Odin?” 

Tatiana laughed. “I recall you slapping him across the face and likening him to a mule.” 

“A fat mule.” Frigga corrected. “Now I love him so dearly, I cannot think of ever having wed another.” 

“You fell in love before you were married.” Tatiana pointed out. 

“And so will they, they are still young. She cannot be wed until she is eight hundred or so.” 

“Eoin will want it done the day she turns eight hundred, he wants her crowned on her thousandth, and wishes for her to have bore one child or bearing when she is.” 

*

As Thor waffled on about what had happened on Asgard in his absence, Loki found himself in need of some space so excusing himself from the Kings and his brother, he took to walking one of the many halls, just for some time alone. His attention was caught by the sound of someone seemingly crying nearby. Worried that someone was hurt, he rushed over, coming to a sudden halt when he came to the source of the cries. 

“What do you want?” Alexandra looked at him, her eyes red-rimmed, her face blotchy and voice tight, her chest heaving every few breaths from crying. 

“I was worried someone was hurt, but seeing as it is just you, I shall get on with my day.” 

“You must love this, I bet you begged for it.” 

“For what?” Loki asked, looking round at her. “What are you speaking of?” 

“Me being married off, I started bleeding yesterday, and then this.” 

Loki winced. “I do not want to know of your ‘issues’.” He shuddered. “And you are Vanir, all Vanir women are betrothed the day they start all that. At least no one can call you a little girl anymore.” He dismissed. “Let me know who the sorry sod is, I will have to give him my condolences at being stuck with you. No crown is worth that.” 

“Like you do not know.” She snapped. 

“Know what, what are you going on with?” Loki looked at her again. 

Alexandra stared at him for a moment, studying him. “You do not know.”

“What, what do I not know?”

“It is you, you ignorant fool.” 

Loki looked at her sceptically. “What, no it is not.”

“Yes, it is. That is why you were brought here this summer; apparently, it was not just to torture me in the short term. That is why I am crying, I knew the day would come I would be promised to someone, I am no fool, but for it to be you…” she snapped. 

Loki’s eyes widened as small comments he took no heed to from King Eoin, and a few times he had met different Lords came to mind, and he realised his brother's words on his arrival too confirmed what Alexandra was saying. “No.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After years of knowing it was going to happen, Alexandra and Loki are wed, their thoughts are slightly different on the situation after some time, but not considerably.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Is it Dubious consent if both people don't want to/but sorta want to consummate a marriage is it, or is that just reluctant sex, I dunno.

Both youths fought their parent's tooth and nail against the union for a time, neither wishing to be forced to wed the other, but there was no swaying them. As with Odin and Frigga, the union secured the realms bond, and with Thor as king of Asgard and his brother the king of Vanaheim, it secured the future of the Odinson’s, the strongest and most valiant line in all the realms. 

Alexandra seemed to give up, accepting she had to at least ensure she ruled with Loki by her side, and not the other way around, so she focused instead on studies, ensuring she was knowledgeable enough to not have to consult him on matters, when the time would come, Loki on the other hand, tried everything in his power to get out of his duty, but the day he implied he would bed a commoner and get her with child, his father punished him with such severity, he conceded that was just some idea with no true meaning behind it and merely did all he could to make King Eoin rethink his decision, sadly, since Eoin knew of his not wanting to marry Alexandra, and having met him and seen his abilities before he was made aware of the union, he would not be swayed, thinking that when the prince was wed to his daughter, they would simply get on with things. 

In the years between the announcement and the wedding, the pair were forced to stay with the other on occasion, but both avoided the other as though they were inflicted with some great disease, hardly saying more than they had to, to one another. The day of Loki’s first tournament, Alexandra was not the least bit shy in hiding her pleasure when his brother beat him convincingly in their match. 

As Alexandra’s eight hundred names day approached, Loki was readied for his journey to Vanaheim. He never particularly liked birthdays before, but this one was surely the one he would loathe more than any other. Thankfully, he had been able to convince his father to have the wedding on Asgard, ensuring as long at his home as possible before he was forced to live with the horrible wench in her mediocre castle on her Norn’s forsaken realm. The day she arrived at the palace, he glared at her from afar while she actively looked at everything but him. She was forced to sit by him at meals, but neither uttered a single word to the other on every occasion. 

The day of the wedding was by far, the worst day in their lives if anyone were to ask them and they would be allowed answer honestly, an odd bonding point, but one nonetheless. As her hair was pinned up and her veil added to her attire, Alexandra looked sadly into the mirror, acknowledging her maid's efforts to make her as beautiful as possible, but thinking it for nought as Loki always made it clear he never found her interesting to look at. 

In his own chambers, as Loki’s servants settled his cape perfectly, he looked in his own mirror, sighing at how he was being forced into this. He turned to see his father in his rooms. “You know where I reside?” He commented sarcastically. 

“Loki…”

“I thought when King Eoin asked my opinions that first summer, that he liked them, thought them worthy.” 

“He did.” 

“Evidentially not.” 

“Can you not see Loki, he thought them so good that he thought you the best man to rule Vanaheim, and I agree with him.”

“You say that because you will have two sons on two thrones, you care nothing for our happiness.” 

“Your brother seems content.” Odin pointed out. 

“That is because he sees no issue with married Anna of Alfheim, she is beautiful and amiable.” Loki retorted. “I have been forced to marry a dragon in a dress.” 

“Prince Alexandra is quite beautiful.” 

“She is plain at best.” 

“You only see her as such because that is what you wish to see, you are being envied by many, in both high and common positions.” 

“Then let one of them marry her.” 

“Loki.” 

“Father, I cannot be happy with this union.”

“Well, no one can force you.” Loki raised a brow; he had thought Odin would fight him more on it. “But as a man to his son, allow me to give you this advice. When the children come, try not to despise their mother in front of them, the one who actively shows hate to the other is usually the one the children come to hate.” 

Loki frowned. “You and mother do not hate each other.” 

“Norn’s no, I adore your mother, I did so since the day I met her, the feeling, however, was not mutual, it was not until we got to know each other did she start to no longer dislike me, and I think it was only when she carried Thor did she come to love me as I loved her.” 

“I do not want a child with her.” 

“You have to have at least one, Loki, you are, after all, expected to give the realm an heir.” 

“How am I to even…?” He did not finish the sentence, not wanting to have to think of being in bed with Alexandra. 

“You are not even a thousand years old; when I was that age the sight of a loose fitting dress seemed to pique my interest.” 

“Father.” Loki winced, not wanting to even think of such a thing. 

“You will consummate your marriage and try for an heir Loki, that is your duty.” 

“I am aware.” He growled through gritted teeth. 

Odin nodded. “I did not do this to spite you Loki, I told you both as youths, you were both born to rule, and I could not give you both Asgard, so I did what I could to give you a kingdom soon, my son, to give you what you deserve, and have earned with hard work.” He walked out of the room to leave Loki to think over his statement. 

Loki frowned as he thought over his father’s words, realising for the first time since his father had made that statement, that to wed Loki to a Crowned Princess was his only way of doing such a thing, and Vanaheim was the only realm with such a situation for him to do such on. 

Loki waited at the top of the throne room, his brother close by, his father waiting to proceed over the ceremony. When he heard the music play and the doors open, he inhaled deeply and waited, knowing that all too soon, Alexandra would be by his side, and he would be stuck with her for the rest of his life. When he turned, wondering why she was taking so long, his brow furrowed for a moment. 

She was almost to him, and her face mirrored his own, but she actually looked beautiful, not because of her hair being tied in a certain way, though he noted it was now long with silken looking curls, not as cropped and wild as it had been the first day he met her, nor was it the dress she wore, which accentuated her features in a very complimenting fashion, so much so, he could see she had a somewhat enticing figure that she seemed to have procured over the years which he had not noticed before, nor was it the makeup on her face, which he noted only added to her high cheekbones, large eyes and soft looking lips. He never recalled seeing her in such a fashion before, she used always look as though she would grow into an odd dimensioned woman, with no defining features and would be plain, had she looked like that the last time they had met, he tried to recall, but all he could think of was how when Alexandra came to the palace last, he had rushed out hunting and training with Thor and returned every evening to hide in his rooms. The time before that, when he was forced to Vanaheim, he recalled she was ill, laid up snorting and coughing with some form of illness, her face blotchy and her hair dishevelled. He honestly could not recall when she turned into the woman in front of him; all he could recall was the crying girl in the hallway, angry at their betrothal and the arrival of her monthly meaning it being announced. 

She extended her hand dutifully, but she looked as though she hoped he would not take it, seeming almost disappointed when he did, he brought her beside him and he noticed she was not looking at him, a small blush on her cheeks. Odin smiled at the pair and began the ceremony. 

Throughout the day and the evening and meal that followed, Alexandra did not utter a word to Loki. As they sat together, after the food was taken away and the parade of gifts was about to start, Loki looked at her again. She stared directly ahead, not blinking. “What?” she as good as demanded when after a full minute, he did not look away. “What am I doing to make you focus on me so?”

“You look very nice, Alexandra.” He stated. Immediately she looked at him sceptically, trying to see if he was being cruel. “I am not jesting, or trying to mock you, I am serious, you look lovely.” 

She eyed him even closer. “Why are you saying this?” 

“Because it is true.” 

“You are aware I have to consummate this marriage regardless, I do not need to be sweet talked.” She commented. 

“I am aware.” He sighed. “I just wanted to compliment you, nothing more.” 

“Why?”

“Because that is something a man should do for his wife on their wedding day, is it not? Let her know that he thinks she looks well.” 

“I suppose normally, but we are not normal, are we?”

Loki shrugged slightly. “I guess you are right.” He conceded. 

“But thank you.” It was his turn to look at her suspiciously. “I have not seen your full armour on you before, I have to admit, it suits you well.” She gave a small smile back. 

“Thank you.” 

“Your parents, they were chosen for one another, were they not?” She asked, looking at Frigga and Odin laughing heartily together. 

“They were, same as your own.” He confirmed. 

“Mother and father were in love before they were ever betrothed.” 

Loki chuckled. “My mother slapped my father across the face the day they met. It took her three hundred years to warm up to him. After almost as long, I do not think we are as close are we?” he asked. 

“Honestly, given the chance I probably would slap you across the face. I doubt we ever can be like they are.” Alexandra commented defeated. “But we have a duty, and I will do my duty to Vanaheim even if it kills me.”

“I am not that bad,” grumbled Loki. 

“I was not referring to just you, I mean as a whole,” she scoffed. “I do not worry regarding you.” 

“Good to know.” 

When the Allfather rose to his feet, the pair looked on nervously, knowing full well what he intended for them. They were told to bid the realm goodnight and make for their now shared chambers; they did so to the sounds of wolf whistles and cheers. 

When they arrived, there were servants and maids awaiting them. Loki looked at his bed, the bed he had had since a child and realised that his favourite place in the realms was about to be the place he would have to force himself to take his wife. To his side, he realised that she seemed to be trying to will herself to do what was required also. After the last pin was removed from her hair and their bed attire was put on them, they were left alone. 

Loki walked over to the bed on the side he was used to sleeping on and frowned. “What is that?” he growled. 

Alexandra looked at what he was indicating to. “The purity sheet.” 

“I do not follow.” 

“To prove the marriage is consummated, I will bleed slightly since I have never been with another man.” She explained, “It proves our marriage is binding, were you not told this?”

“Why will you bleed?” he asked, looking her up and down appalled. 

“Because you will have to rip my hymen to enter me.” Loki felt nauseous. “Did you not read this?”

“None of my friends said such things.”

“Well neither did mine; then again, I was not overly eager to ask as to how much it hurts. Do not look so stricken, you are not the one that will bleed.” 

“I…can we not…”

“If we do not, then our fathers will be angry and we will be forced to do it in front of some people, including at least one of our parents each or else call the marriage null and void and risk there being a war.” She stated factually. “Just close your eyes and think of whatever girl you used to do this with, I will remain quiet so to aid you to pretend it is her, and it will be done then.” 

“What if…”

“What?”

“Could you…? He pointed to her stomach.

“We will be expected to continue this until I do.” She explained. 

“You do not want to, though.” 

“I have my duty to Vanaheim, that is clear, I am to get the crown on my thousandth names day, as the first queen in eight generations that is the heir and not married in, I have to show the line is secure, we have to.” She stated factually, her words seemingly rehearsed, as though she had said them to herself more times than could be counted. 

“That seems like a lot of pressure.” Loki felt his heart race. 

“I know, but it is our duty, you have always done your duty, have you not?” he nodded. “Then let us do this.” She got into the other side of the bed before looking at him meekly. “Just…please, do not be too rough.” 

Loki looked at her, noticing her fear. “I will not be,” he promised. 

“Like you do with the others.” 

“There are no others, never have been.” He clarified. 

“That’s not what I have heard.”

“One thing you should know about me. I am said to be a lot of things, but seldom are they true.” He commented as he pulled himself over her, looking down at her. 

“We can do this.” She nodded, swallowing her fear. 

“Yes.” He leant down and kissed her chastely.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Loki and Alexandra go on their honeymoon, but it is not very sweet, but when Alexandra cannot sleep, she recalls something that assists and Loki is willing to help, if just to get some rest.

The next day, Loki and Alexandra hardly spoke two words to one another passed him asking her if she was alright after what they had done the night before. She simply nodded and thanked him for trying to be gentle with her. Dressing in their clothes, the sat with their family for breakfast.

“The Bifrost is ready when you are.” The Allfather declared. The pair looked at him for a moment before looking at one another and then back to him. “For your honeymoon…” He looked at them as though they had taken leave of their senses.

“I…” Loki looked at Alexandra again, who seemed more interested in the food on her plate. “It is not necessary.”

“It is arranged.” Frigga interjected, “a month in Alfheim, in the Myrai Fall’s palace.”

“Thank you, Allmother, but as Loki stated, it is not necessary.” Alexandra forced herself to smile, the pleading look in her eyes unable to be hidden.

“It is done, Alexandra, just enjoy it.” Her mother elbowed her slightly, but even with her mother’s words, the princess could not force herself to smile properly.

“Thank you, mother. It will be lovely no doubt. We are very grateful for you to have thought of such.” Loki gave a grimace of a smile. Alexandra just nodded in agreement.

“And who knows, perhaps, with your young age, we will have a child to look forward to soon,” Eoin added.

Immediately, Alexandra’s face paled and she put down the toast she was about to eat, her hunger leaving her. “Excuse me a moment.” She rose from the table and rushed from the room.

“I think you frightened her, dear.” Tatiana scolded her husband slightly.

“She is to be queen; she needs to have a child soon for the realm to see this all as a good idea. My brother is all too keen to remind us she is a woman and that the throne should go to him or one of his sons. It cannot be allowed come to pass.” He stated adamantly.

“I am aware dear, but scaring her will not assist her to carry any, if she is too frightened, she may not carry one.” There was a sadness in Tatiana’s voice that Loki noted. Beside them, his mother shifted slightly in her chair. “Perhaps I should speak with her.” Her mother made to rise from her chair.

“I think it best if Loki does so,” Odin ordered, looking at his younger son to follow his wife.

Half relieved at getting to leave the table due to the rising tension there, but reluctant because it meant following Alexandra, Loki rose to his feet and followed his wife, murmuring ‘excuse me’ as he did so.

She had not made it far, and on seeing her, Loki rushed over. She was kneeling on the floor, gasping for breath. “Are you choking?” she shook her head. “Ill?” again she shook her head. “What is wrong?”

“I. Cannot. Breath.” She gasped between breaths.

“So you are choking.” he looked at her for a moment then he realised something. “You are not choking.”

“I. Told. You. That. Already.” She gasped.

“You are panicking.”

“No.” she tried to rise to her feet.

“You are, you are panicking, that is why you are like this.” He knelt down and helped her up. “Why?”

“It is nothing.” She dismissed.

“Do not be so stubborn.” He growled, pulling her over to a seat.

“I am not…”

“Oh, Norn’s woman, but you are, so cease speaking and just breathe.” He rubbed her back slightly as she tried to calm herself. “Perhaps this time on Alfheim will be a good thing.”

Having gotten her breath back, Alexandra scoffed. “How so?”

“Well, perhaps we can discuss a few matters.”

“I am not overly fond of our conversations, they tend to end in bitterness.”

“They tend to start with it also.”

“Fine, they tend to end in more bitterness, better?”

“More honest.” She gave a small smile.

“Come, we had best go get ready.” He helped her up.

“Thank you.” She did not look at him again as they walked to his room.

Loki studied her as they did, without the work that had gone into her appearance the day previous, he found himself even more confused as to how he had not realised she had grown into herself and in turn, into a beautiful woman. They were somewhat surprised to see their belongings were ready when they got there. “I guess we are to leave immediately,” Loki commented.

“It would seem so.” Alexandra went to retrieve a shawl before turning and leaving the room again.

The carriage journey was quiet, both in Asgard and on their arrival to Alfheim. The royal palace was readied for them on their arrival, a present to the future Vanir monarchs from the Alfheim royals. It was beautiful, as were the surrounds. They both were in awe as the looked at the water cascade over the side of the cliff near the building.

“The water will not irk you, will it?” Loki queried.

Alexandra shot him a bemused look. “Nothing tends to irk me.”

“Except for me.” Loki quirked a brow.

“Only when you talk.”

“That is cold.”

“Or breathe.”

“That is cruel.”

“Or exist.”

“Not you are getting rude.” He scolded, Alexandra bit her lips together, but that did not stop her grinning. “You are just as irritating.”

“Original, the Silver Tongue strikes again I see.” She walked into the bed chambers. “I will take these ones.” She declared.

“We will take separate chambers?” Loki looked at her curiously.

“Well, all things considering…” she looked at him expectantly.

“The norm is to wait until after there are heirs for such.”

“Well, we are not the norm, after three hundred years, we can still barely stand one another.” She retorted, walking into the bathing room and closing the door, making a great deal out of ensuring he knew the door was locked.

Loki stood for a few moments, staring at the door before sighing and leaving the room.

Inside the bathing chambers, Alexandra looked at herself in the mirror, her eyes wide and her nostrils flaring slightly, her fear coming to the fore. She still felt tender between her legs where Loki had entered her to consummate their marriage, where she knew from her tutors and masters that she would come to birth a child should she come to bear one. She felt some fluid leak from her, knowing it was his seed, having put it in her the night before. She blushed as she recalled their coupling, Loki had been gentle, trying not to hurt her as he entered, she was tense but he did everything he could to calm her. Throughout the act, he kept himself steady, not forcing himself on her as she had heard some husbands did with their wives, and he even ensured she had felt pleasure, though she knew that could be not out of concern for her, but because she had read that it aided conception and him being as well read, if not better, she knew he knew of such also. The thought of which caused her to exhale a shaky breath. There was a small chance that she could be with child already, a small being to grow within her, or would she do as she always feared and fail on such a basic, natural task. Checking her hair and her face for signs of her distress, Alexandra straightened her dress and unlocked the door to the room again, looking around to see no sign of Loki, but his baggage in the room, next to her own.

The Honeymoon was a pleasant enough affair, were it not for the issue that husband and wife actually spent most days actively trying not to speak to one another. Both retired to different parts of the palace, and the few times they were in each others company, they remained mostly silent outside polite small talk. They remained in the same bed quarters but were on opposite sides of the extravagantly sized bed. With only a few nights left in their time alone, Alexandra lay staring at the canopy of the bed one night, late, unable to sleep.

“You are keeping me awake with all your fidgeting.” Loki groaned.

“It is too hard to sleep in a bed with another.” She moaned.

“It is not easy for me either, you are considerably smaller than I but take up far more room.”

“I do not.” She argued.

“Yes, you do. How does one so slight and small take up two-thirds of a bed, it is actually commendable, not to mention your ability to turn yourself into a cocoon with blankets.”

“I did not realise…”

“Well, cease and get some rest.”

“I have been trying.”

“What ails you?”

“Why would you care?”

“Honestly, were it not for the fact you are keeping me awake, I would not, but you are keeping me awake, so I care greatly.”

“I do not know.”

“Well then, none can assist you.” He groaned.

“Loki.”

“What?” he groaned.

“What will happen if I bear a child?”

“Please do not tell me I have to explain the process to you.”

“No.” she growled in annoyance. “I am more than aware of the process; I am referring to if, that night, we…”

“It is expected for us to.” He stated factually.

“It is hardly ideal with us not able to have a civil conversation.”

“That is why I fought this, it is not right.”

“I fought it too.”

“Yes, I heard, by studying, how valiant you did so.” He answered sarcastically.

“What of you, all you did was bed every girl in court that looked at you.”

“I told you already, I did not bed anyone.”

“Then pray tell, how did such rumours come to pass?” She retorted.

“Because I spread them, to try and get your parents to decide I was too great a scoundrel for their beloved little girl.” He snarled. Alexandra’s eyes widened at his words. “I tarnished my name and that of over thirty girls, and they still kept the promise to wed us,” Loki growled.

“I studied every book, I even went to Jötunheim to see if I could start a trade agreement issue there that would delay it, nothing worked. All the old laws, they were voided by new ones.” She admitted.

“We tried.” Loki shrugged. “None can say we did not try.” He settled to go back to sleep. “You are still fidgeting.”

“Really, I had not noticed.” She snarked back.

“Is there anything that will make you rest?” he asked, willing to try anything so long as he could get back to sleep. Thinking for a moment, Alexandra thought back to the one time in recent memory she had woken feeling like she had actually had a good night’s sleep. Thinking of it from a logical point of view, it seemed the only obvious solution, so she moved closer to Loki, who turned to look at her curiously and slowly leant forward, her eyes darting between his and his lips, and pressed hers to his. For a moment, Loki was still, not reacting, but as her hands slowly made their way to him, to grip his night shirt, he kissed her back, moving himself in a manner that would allow them further their activities.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra and Loki return from their honeymoon and attempt to get used to life as husband and wife, though they are not doing so well on that front, neither knowing how to engage the other in anything other than bickering and arguing.

The pair made their way to Vanaheim a few days later, neither speaking of what had assisted them both sleep soundly when Alexandra could not fall asleep. Walking into her old bedroom, Alexandra looked around it sadly, it had been changed in her absence to make room for her husband and his belonging. She wondered where everything would fit, seeing as she knew how many possessions he had had on Asgard, and her room was nowhere near as big. Swallowing slightly, she walked over to her vanity table and took a small trinket from its box, looking at it for a moment, filling her eyes with tears. 

“Where do I… are you alright?” Loki looked at her as she took a deep breath, hiding the trinket from view. 

“Yes.” Her voice broke, so she cleared her throat. “Yes, I…how are we going to fit everything in here?” she asked, placing the object back on the table and stepped in front of it, in an attempt to keep his attention off her belongings. 

“I am not sure.” He looked around the room, seeing the issue. 

“I might see if we can get the room expanded, that would aid us some what, so we are not on top of one another.” She stood, almost leaning against the table, her hands behind her back. 

“Yes,” Loki eyed her suspiciously for a moment, but said nothing of her behaviour. “That might be an idea.” He turned to do something, but kept an eye on his wife, who, thinking he was not paying her much heed, put the item back in his box, closing it and securely placing it in a drawer before turning again. “When might we discuss this with someone, who do we discuss it with?” Loki asked, causing her to jump as he had made his way over to her quietly. 

“My father, I cannot see him declining.” She straightened herself up again. “I will speak with him now.” she turned to leave the room. 

Loki delayed for a moment, looking at the table she had been so skittish at. It seemed so ordinary, a few necklaces and other trinkets on it, even what appeared to be a music box, but nothing to give indication as to the reason for her peculiar behaviour. Sighing and shaking his head, he walked after her. “I should surely come with you.” He called, causing Alexandra to halt for a moment and wait for him. 

As predicted, her father saw no issue with their request, making comment that he and her mother did something similar when they were wed, and apologised to Loki for the lack of grandeur in the palace, and how it paled in comparison to Asgard’s. Loki immediately dismissed the apology saying that, if anything, Asgard was over extravagant. “If I am honest, Vanaheim is a more…I cannot say quaint, for it is not the most accurate word, but it is close to it.” Loki stated pensively. “It is quieter, more homely; the realm seems almost more connected, the people are as though they are more connected with each other.” He explained. 

Alexandra raised a brow and looked at him as though she was sure he was joking, but her father beamed in delight. “You have noticed, yes, our realm is so…yes, you used the best words yourself, it is something my father and grandfather tried so hard to achieve, and their hard work paid off, we have a realm that all are willing to do their part, and as a result, we thrive together.” 

“And now, you wish for it all to go to an Odinson.” A voice called out from the back of the room. 

“Oh, Norn’s.” Alexandra rolled her eyes before turning. 

Loki frowned at the mention of his family name and turned to see a man, younger, but similar in appearance to King Eoin, dressed in what would be considered Vanir finery, walking through the room, two younger men behind him. “Mikhail, the court has made it clear, Alexandra is who they want, and Loki was without exception, chosen as the most suitable candidate for her husband, the best for the realm.” Eoin stated firmly. “I understand your displeasure at this, but there is nothing more you can say on the matter, it is decided.” 

“A female heir is not the done thing.” 

“But it is a thing.” Alexandra argued. “I am not the first, nor shall I be the last.” Though she was a small woman, she stood as tall as she could. “And Loki is far better suited to the role than any of your boys. While they were busy sniffing around farm girls, he was learning the great wars of the realms, he is a proficient fighter, reader and sorcerer, while from what I hear, your William here has only just mastered the art dressing himself, and even then the clothes have to be laid out for him.” She looked to the older of the boys behind the man, then she looked to the other. “Tell me cousin, have you learnt how to wipe your arse yet, or has daddy been getting a maid to do that for you too?” 

“Alexandra,” her father warned. 

Loki looked at her in awe, not realising the vitriol she usually stored for him was ever dispatched on another, finding her more attractive seeing it in use and not being on the receiving end. “Father, of his sons, even if there was a mass loss of sense to allow the crown go to his family, these two are worst suited.” She argued. 

“And of my sons, which would the great crowned princess say is?” the man spat back. “Which do you think worthy, I dare say none.” 

“Brandon, Phaidraig and Micah are all of the nature, but not of the mind, these two morons are not the least bit compatible to the job. They are too cold, heartless, too like you to be of any good to the realm, they would squander what we have saved for the future on brothels and mead and leave our people with nothing. They would try to rival Asgard’s palace while our people starve and live in rundown shacks.” 

“This palace is not fit for royalty.” The older son hissed. 

“By the very fact it is called a palace, it is grand enough.” Loki pointed out. 

“Ah, he speaks.” Mikhail commented. “I was beginning to think you had been put on a leash and muzzled by the brat.” 

Though Loki did not see eye to eye with his wife, she was still his wife, and one thing his father had taught him and Thor, was that come whomever to Asgard, none who spoke ill of his queen spoke for long. Rising to his full height, he exceeded the other man by over four inches, and schooled his face to one of intimidation and anger. “You dare speak ill of my wife, what way is that to raise these men? Do you treat the woman that birthed them in such a manner?” 

“Women.” Loki looked around at Alexandra. “Mikhail has taken five wives, each leaving as soon as she did her duty and gave him a son. It is one of the major reasons court would not even entertain the idea of him as king.”

“They maintain that if he is that way with women, what way will he be with realms and diplomats?” Alexandra nodded. Loki looked back to the other man. “No wonder they chose us then.” 

“I dare say your father had a great deal to do with their decision.” Mikhail growled, though his tone lacked the bite it had before. 

“It would have, what with him being the Allfather, it is a good idea to keep in his good graces; after all, it does no realm any harm to have the most powerful being in them all as a member of its royal family. That is why this crown is strengthened further through our marriage. But my father never forced Vanaheim into this decision; King Eoin came to him, not the other way around. He would never force a realm to instate his son, he believes in allowing realms make their own mistakes, look at Midgard.” The other man did not argue his point. “Now, I am sure you came here for more than to start a war of words you cannot win, for surely you heard of myself before now, and I know you know my wife has a capable tongue also, so we will take our leave for the afternoon and let you get on with whatever it is you are looking for.” He placed his hand to the base of Alexandra’s back and gently urged her to the door. 

“Indeed. I am sure you will be busy trying to get started on an heir, it will take a considerable time no doubt, if at all.” Mikhail called out. 

Loki’s brow furrowed at his comments and was going to make comment of it, until he felt Alexandra stiffen beside him and her eyes widen, and when he turned, he noticed Eoin looking enraged and Tatiana walking swiftly for a side door. “Petty comments, is that all you have? I fear you lack far more than the ability of a king.” Loki stated as he and his wife continued out the door. As soon as they were through, Alexandra sped up, half running down the hallway without a backward glance at her husband, whom was left wondering why was it, that his in-laws were so touchy on that particular subject. Deciding to ask his mother, he walked back to his shared rooms to write her. 

After finishing the short letter, which stated that Alfheim was as beautiful as ever, and that both he and Alexandra were well, he put in his wife because he knew it was right to, but that something was somewhat of an issue with her, and that he was beginning to notice, when a child and heir were referenced, she clammed up and became somewhat flighty and skittish. He thought again to when he had entered the room earlier, and her trying to hide something from him. he scoffed slightly at her lack of ability to act natural when he had been there, he wondered somewhat if she recalled who it was she was married to and walked over to the vanity table. 

There was nothing of note on it, a few broaches, necklace’s and a bracelet, but nothing to suggest the reason behind her behaviour before. He realised one of the drawers was slightly ajar, and though he knew it to be wrong to go searching, he opened it. 

Inside there was nothing too great, a few old letters, all of which were seemingly from her grandparents, whose names he recognised, and from another girl if the name on it was to be believed, there was a few scraps of paper, some with what appeared to be random thoughts and words, others with names. But among them, was a small trinket, made of some form of cheap steel. He lifted it out and inspected it. Sure enough, it was only silver, tarnished with time, but it was its size that intrigued him. it was too big to be a ring, but too small to be a bracelet, yet looked like both. He was curious as to both its use and its significance, but he knew nothing of either, so he placed it back where it had been and ensured the table was as he had found it and turned back to find someone to send his letter. 

*

Elsewhere in the palace, Alexandra sat, looking at the great lake that was only a small distance from her home, a few palace horses grazing beside it. She knew there would come a time when she would have to face her fears, but she did not feel ready. Her father had made it clear what he, the court and indeed the realm expected of her. She sighed as she leant her head back against the wall she was sitting next to and wondered how she was supposed to do it. She had only lay with her husband intimately twice in the four weeks of their marriage, and though she had to admit she had enjoyed both occasions immensely, the lack of warmth between them, and the knowledge it was not getting much better concerned her. She did not want to have to force him to lay with her, which she knew was probably a greater act of labour for him than her, but she did not honestly feel too happy about forcing a child into a marriage where both parents were not happy with their lot. She shook her head slightly, knowing that even if she were to lay with Loki every day and night for a year, they may not be successful, she had been told it often took years for a husband and wife to conceive, but then her throat tightened, she had also been told that it could happen if a woman only lay with a man just once.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra realises that her marriage is going to have some added pressure on it. Her actions regarding a certain trinket come to a breaking point when Loki finally has enough of her secrecy, especially when he sees her talking in private with another man, revealing something shocking to him, how will he react to such?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor references to miscarriages here.

It apparently only took once, or twice, though technically once, since there had been three weeks between the two times Alexandra and Loki had coupled, so when she was told how far she was, she knew it was from the consummation of her marriage. Immediately, Alexandra started to hyperventilate, terrified of what was now her fate. The healer tried to calm her, tell her what to do to ensure a safe pregnancy, but Alexandra did not hear half of it, her mind focusing on one thing alone. When she went back to her rooms that evening, she said nothing, immediately going to bed and pretending to sleep. Upon entering, Loki looked at his wife confused, not understanding what was causing her behaviour. Saying nothing, he got into the bed and turned away from her, as they usually did and tried to drift off, but the anxiety that was radiating from her was almost palpable. He recalled when she could not sleep on Alfheim, how she had initiated intimacy between them. Though it was awkward, since they did not see eye to eye, it was incredibly pleasurable. If he had a more willing wife, Loki would have wanted to do the act daily, but as it stood, she did not seem to want to. Gritting his teeth, he realised he was after thinking of her naked body under his, causing him to become highly frustrated, wishing to relieve himself, but knowing she was awake, so being unable to. Deciding to see if she would assist his predicament in any manner, he turned in the bed and got closer to her. Confused, and somewhat startled, Alexandra turned around to see what he was doing, when she realised he was close to her, she willed her eyes to focus through the darkness at him, only to realise a moment before he did it that he was trying to kiss her. 

A small part of her wanted to pull away, she was in enough of a state with her evening’s revelation, but the other part knew that it was her duty as a wife, that he did not realise he had already put a child in her, and that it was nice to have a pleasurable distraction. Even though his kiss had been chaste and gentle, the one she reacted with was almost wild and sloppy. Loki did not seem to mind as he immediately increased his own actions and gripped her sides as he pulled her on top of him, both frantically trying to untie the other’s night attire and have their way with the other. 

*

Alexandra said nothing of the child, not for several weeks, she was already through the first trimester, and none knew of her condition bar the healer. She hid her illness by figuring out when it was at its worst and making excuses for to not being in anyone’s company during those hours. Her stomach had already shown signs of the child in it, but with simple dress alterations and thankfully, the colder months being upon them, she was able to hide it. When she and Loki were intimate, which tended to happen every other week, both not able to control their urges any longer, they would do so in darkness, and she would purposely put his hands on her breasts or ass, both areas she knew he had a liking for during their coupling. Her breasts were somewhat tender, but it only made the act feel better she noted. She felt bad for not telling him, it was her duty, but she was scared to at first, and after a while, she thought he would be angered by her not telling him sooner, so she continued to say nothing. 

Loki noticed Alexandra’s behaviour become more and more peculiar as time went on. She kept to a very strict schedule, where she could not be found for three hours a day, no matter where was searched in the palace. Her passion in their coupling startled him also, her being the instigator more times than he, and on those nights, and many others, he would wake in the morn to see her either sleeping against him or asleep with her head on his chest. 

He thought to follow her on occasion, but knew that it would not be explainable should she find him, and with a marriage that was already on the verge of being called tumultuous, he knew that would do it no favours. There was more than one occasion where he saw her with that trinket in her hand again, staring at it longingly. The response he had gotten from his mother a few weeks previous gave him no great information, only that when the time was right, she was sure his wife would tell him herself. 

On one afternoon, he noticed his wife speaking with what seemed to be a stablehand, their body language piquing his interest, Alexandra seemed almost flirtatious while the man seemed to be proud, he watched the exchange with great interest, taking note to watch as his wife left, her actions were as though she was hiding something. By nature, Loki was an envious man, he would never deny that; but Alexandra was not something he thought he would be envious of, she was not overly fond of him, though their bickering had decreased, partly because she seldom was around him these days, but he found himself almost shaking with rage at the idea of another man being so bold around her. 

Against his better judgement, he followed his wife slyly, knowing there would be ructions if he were caught, but with her recent actions, he felt somewhat justified. She ended up back in their rooms for a moment, but when he entered to see where she was, she was not there. Confused he looked around, his eye coming onto the silver trinket that was on the vanity table once more, walking over, he realised it had been recently polished, the tarnishes almost completely gone. Pursing his lips, he became angered, not knowing what it was that Alexandra was doing, but becoming hell-bent on figuring it out. Storming out of their room, he went to the small Vanir library to see if there was any sign of what the small trinket in his hand was, not realising its box had fallen to the floor in his haste. 

Tired, Alexandra ensured she was clean and neat as she exited the small side room that was in her chambers, her own little hideaway that she had her father put in for her as a child, but she had never told Loki of. She had a small bed and latrine put in there for her being ill, someday, she hoped her child would have something similar. Walking back in through her rooms, she went to the table, noticing immediately there was something not right with it. When she realised the small wooden box she usually kept hidden was on the floor opened, her stomach felt ill once more. She bent down and retrieved it before looking around frantically. 

“Looking for this?” she shrieked as Loki’s voice sounded through their room, having not noticed he was there. Turning, she looked at him to see he was holding the small bracelet in his hand. “I have been trying to figure out, all afternoon, what this thing is, and I have absolutely no idea. Care to tell me?”

“Give it back, Loki.” 

“Why?”

“Just…” Alexandra swallowed. “Just give it back, it is mine.” 

“It is too small to fit you, so what is it?” he swirled it around his finger. “And why are you hiding in that far wall? What is afoot here?” 

“Nothing of concern to you.” 

“My wife is being secretive and hiding, I think it is of concern to me,” Loki argued. 

“I had a life before you.” 

“I am aware, as I had before you, yet I force myself to ensure I am not hiding from you every day for several hours, I am honest enough to say when I want time to myself.” 

“You do not understand,” Alexandra argued. 

“No, I do not, that is why I am asking.” Loki rose to his feet and came closer to her. “I asked my mother in a letter, what this could be,” he raised the trinket, “and was told you would tell me in time. It is of low-grade metal that I have established for myself but I cannot gather anything else of it.” 

“Give it to me Loki.” She pleaded. “Please, just give it back.” 

“What is all of this, tell me.” 

“It is not your concern.” She repeated. Taking a step forward, she steadied her breathing. “Give me the bracelet, Loki, please.” 

“Why were you talking so flirtatiously with the lowborn today?” she frowned at him. “I saw you speak with him outside, what was it regards?”

“A gift for you, for the winter solstice.” She replied, staring at him to show her honesty. Loki’s brows furrowed. “He is a tanner, I noticed you like to use leather in your armour.” She explained. “So I gave him a design to add to it, he met with me today to discuss its price and delivery.” Loki felt a tad foolish. “You thought I was allowing him to bed me, did you not?”

“I did.” Loki gave her honesty back. “Why did you act as you did with him, as though flirting, you do not act like that in my company?”

Alexandra huffed a small laugh. “Being nice to someone constitutes flirting to you?” Loki’s lip twitched. “Were you jealous?”

“No.” she raised a brow. “I was not, I just did not want any thinking me a fool.”

“Too late for that.” she snapped. He showed her the trinket again and her face became one of fear. “Give that to me.”

“What is it?”

“Mine.” 

“Not the right answer.” 

“Loki…”

“Alexandra.” She kept her eyes on him, but gently shifted her feet and jumped up to grab the trinket, since he had it just our of her reach. She failed to reach it and fell forward into him. Loki caught her with his swift reflexes, his arm going around her waist. Immediately, she thrashed slightly to get away from him and backed off causing Loki to stared at her as though she had taken leave of her senses before he realised her shawl was no longer on and her stomach was… “Are you…?” Looking down, Alexandra realised her stomach, which could no longer hide their child without a shawl's assistance, was on display. “You are…” she looked at Loki fearfully. “You never…”

“That is why I go to the room every day, I am ill and I did not want anyone to know.” She explained. 

“Why?” 

“Because…” he eyes welled up with tears. 

“What is going on?” Loki asked, terrified as to why she was so upset. “Are you alright? Is it alright?”

“I do not know.” She shook her head as her tears began to fall. 

“I need to know what is going on, Alexandra. I know we are not overly close, but anything that worries you affects our child, so you can tell me.” 

She extended her hand, looking for him to place the trinket in it. He did so, watching as she looked down at it lovingly. “It is a Name’s Day bracelet.” She began. “All newborns on Vanaheim get one, male and female. This,” she held it up. “It was my brother’s.” Loki’s brows furrowed. “I was small when he was born, I cannot remember how old, but old enough to want to be around him, I remember his little face. He...he did not make it. None of them did.” 

“What?”

“My mother bore thirteen children.” She stated, Loki’s eyes widened. “I am the only one to make it off the breast.” She looked at the bracelet again. “I remember him, I cannot recall the others, some never made it out of her alive, but him I remember.” She began to cry again. “I loved him so much, but one day, I remember my father talking with Mikhail, and Mikhail saying how I was effectively useless now, that I would be second to my brother,” she wiped a tear away. “And I got jealous. I remember thinking I did not want him to be above me, that I was born first so mother and father should love me more, I did not realise he meant with regards the throne, I was so small it did not occur to me and I recall looking at him that day in his crib, and thinking it was not fair, that he shouldn’t be allowed do that, to skip me, and that he should be the one that should be useless.” The tears came heavier then. “Then that night, he died and it was entirely my fault.” She sobbed. 

Loki immediately rushed to comfort her. “How could you be blamed for that?” 

“I wished ill on him, and he died.” 

“What did the healers say happened him?”

“His heart just stopped, that is all they ever said.” 

“You did not do that.”

“What if I did?”

“Were you always the oldest? Were any of the others before you?”

“Three.” 

“Then it is safe to say you were not the cause of their deaths.” He held her against him. “So, is that why you never told me of the child? You were frightened you will lose it?” she nodded. “I doubt you did yourself any favours hiding it, that only added to your stress.” 

“I did not want you to be angry with me.” 

Loki felt his heart pound in his chest. “If it had happened, it would not have been your doing.” He held her close to him. 

“I could still…”

“What did the healers say?” 

“They do not know how they all came to just die, so they could never presume to know if my child will be the same.”

“Our,” she frowned at him. “Our child.” He corrected. 

“Do you hate me even more now?”

“I do not hate you, Alexandra.” 

“You do not like me.” 

“I do.” 

“Love?”

“Not yet.” 

“Yet?” 

“Well, four thousand years is a long time, and every day you get less irritating.” 

“That is because I have been hiding with my condition.”

“No, because you are getting less cold to me. Most days I wake to you on me.” 

“It is like it allows me to sleep better when you are next to me, you smell good.” She explained. 

“It wants its father.” He smiled proudly. “When is it…?” 

“Before the summer solstice.” 

Loki calculated in his mind for a moment. “So we…” 

“On our wedding night.” She nodded. 

Loki beamed even more proudly. “I am nothing if not efficient.” Alexandra snorted in laughter at his words. “It will be fine.” He gently placed his hand on her stomach, proud of his ability to have his wife with child so swiftly. 

“How do you know?” 

At just that moment, the baby moved against Loki’s hand. “I think you were just told.” He smiled fondly at feeling the child move for the first time. 

“I…that was odd.” 

“What was?” Loki asked concerned. 

“It is the first time it did that.”

“Moved?” she nodded. “So that was…and I was here?” she nodded again. “It adores me already; it is a very smart child.” Alexandra could only start laughing again.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra's parents have two understandable reactions to the young couple's news. When Eoin speaks with Loki regarding the matter, he learns more fo the Vanir king's faith in him.

There was a clear look of apprehension on Tatiana’s face when Loki and Alexandra told her their news ten days later when the baby moved in a way that prevented her from hiding it any longer, Eoin, on the other hand, was ecstatic for his daughter and son-in-law. That evening, when he and Loki had met to discuss an issue regarding Alfheim, he brought up the topic again. 

“I have prayed, since the day we knew of her, that Alexandra would make it, and when she did, that she would not be inflicted with whatever curse befell her mother and I.” he stated. 

“She told me of your troubles.” Loki solemnly, “I am sorry for the loss you have shared.” 

“Twelve lost, one had even learned to crawl and babble a few words, Dmitri, that one affected Alexandra the most I think; she was never the same after he died. I knew then that we had been cursed, Tatiana’s heart is not as strong as it should be, that I knew before we wed, but there was no indication it was genetic.”

“Could Alexandra…” 

“Hers is strong, like her, but I do not know if it will affect your children, I thought if her husband was of another realm, and one not stricken with this, one who was strong, his genes would aid my grandchildren.”

“But my mother is Vanir.” 

“Yes,” Eoin sighed, “But it takes something special to be a seidr wielder, there can be no imperfections, no weaknesses, your mother never had any, and neither do you, Loki.” He looked at his son-in-law with immense pride. “You are everything Alexandra needs in a husband, strong, intelligent, witty, caring, powerful, feared, loved, cunning, and protective; the day we came to Asgard for that visit, I knew there and then that there could be no other man suited for my daughter, or my realm. It is so hard to find a man that is both, a good king does not equate to a good husband, same can be said the other way also, but you, I see how you approach issues of the realm, taking a step back, but also considering those involved, that is how to rule as justly as we can, and with my daughter, I see how you look at her, the pride you have already in your child. I know she is a challenge, she is a strong-minded woman, and she is not afraid to make clear her thoughts, but she loves Vanaheim and only cares about its future.”

“She is terrified something will go wrong.” 

“I fear her fear will be the reason it could.” 

“She thought not telling anyone would make it easier if she lost it.” 

Eoin shook his head. “I am glad she has you Loki. I beg you, no matter what happens, you care for my daughter and grandchild.” Loki frowned at him but nodded. Eoin simply nodded his head back. “Good, good. Now, as for Alfheim.” 

*

“You need to sleep,” Loki grumbled, his face still half buried in his pillow. 

“I cannot, something is wrong.” Alexandra tossed again. 

“The child is fine.” Loki tried to pull her closer to him, but she fought it, looking at him curiously. “I can sense it when you are close to me, I will see if there is reason for your neurotic dramatics.” 

“You know, most people say pregnant women are more sensitive to their surrounds because of their need to know it is safe for them and their child.” Alexandra sniped, though she allowed him to place a hand on her stomach. 

“You are getting big,” Loki commented. 

“Those same people also say not to call a woman fat.” 

“I was not talking of you, though yes, you are growing too as a result, I was talking to our son.” 

“Son? What makes you say, son, how do you know it is not a girl?”

“Because I do, just as you are saying you are following instinct with your sense there is something wrong, I am following mine with regard our child’s gender.” He seemed to concentrate for a moment. “It is perfectly fine, actually, it is asleep and content.” 

“Really?” Alexandra could not help her voice softening at the idea of her child feeling secure in its little cocoon. 

“Yes, can you not sense it?”

“All I can sense is something is not as it should be, and that I need to know what it is.” She stated with conviction. 

“Well then, when you figure it out, let me know.” Loki got comfortable again. 

“Why did it have to be you?” Alexandra groused, getting out of bed to go to the bathroom. 

“I am just too brilliant, it is clearly the key to my downfall.” He grumbled back, stealing some more bed sheets before she returned and took them all. 

“Ha Ha.” She called as she closed the bathroom door. 

Loki looked at the door for a moment and inhaled deeply and got comfortable again. Just as he felt himself being pulled back into sleep when there was a heavy pounding on their bed quarters door. “Someone is going to die,” Loki growled in irritation as he pushed himself up and forced himself from the bed. As he walked to the door, Alexandra rushed from the bathroom, a look of concern and fear on her face. Loki made a hand motion to indicate for her to remain where she was and he would inspect. When he opened it, he realised it was his mother-in-law's handmaid. 

“Your Highness, the King, he…” she began. 

“Alexandra, get your robe.” He ordered, doing the same himself. 

Without arguing, she did as she was told, tying it under her rounding belly and following her husband swiftly, both hardly noticing the faces of concern of the other residents of their home before they made their way to the monarchs room. Inside, the found Tatiana weeping beside the bed she usually shared with her husband, and in it, the king, his face grey and his body still, a healer shaking his head solemnly beside it. 

“Mother.” Alexandra rushed to her mother, who cried more with her daughter there beside her. Tatiana held her daughter tight as Alexandra looked at Loki. 

Loki felt immense guilt at the words he had uttered at being woken again when he was going back to sleep, but he then he saw the look on his wife’s face and felt even greater guilt. He had dismissed her not minutes before, and it turned out, she was completely right. He watched as she comforted her mother, while he stood there, not entirely sure of what to do for the two women. “Get a message to my father and mother on Asgard.” He ordered to one servant, immediately, the servant bowed and did as instructed. He turned to two other servants, “You two prepare what is required for his funeral.” 

“Yes, your highness.” The bowed and did as required. 

Alexandra turned to her mother. “He needs to be readied, mother.”

“No.” Tatiana threw herself over her husband. 

“Mother, he would not want this, what would he say?”

Tatiana smiled for a moment, sadly, but a smile nonetheless. “To keep my head held high.” 

“And never let this knock back knock you down,” Alexandra added. 

“And never let this knock back knock you down,” Tatiana repeated, looking at her husband lovingly, stroking his face. “I do not know how I can be without him,” she added. 

“He would tell you not to be so silly; that you were always so strong and able, no other could have gone through what you did and still be so capable.”

Tatiana looked at her daughter. “You were always so strong; you kept going when all others could not. You are so like your father.” 

“You still have us mother, me, and the baby.” 

“And Loki.” Tatiana looked at her son-in-law, extending her hand out for him to join them, he did so dutifully. “You are more able than I for all of this.” 

“We will take care of everything, you need only tell us if you want something added, you just mourn him as you see fit.” Loki encouraged. Tatiana nodded and left the room as her husband was about to be prepared. “Are you…?” Loki looked to his wife. 

“I knew it...”

“Alexandra…”

“I…he…”

“He knew.” She looked at her husband in shock. “When I was speaking to him earlier, he said something I thought was odd at the time, but it makes all the more sense now. He said to take care of you and the baby, no matter what. I noted it an odd thing to say, but I knew not why he said it.” She simply nodded pensively. “Should we wait to tell Prince Mikhail?” he asked his wife. 

Alexandra nodded again. “He will not show the compassion we need at this time, your father’s presence will help silence him.” her voice becoming distant. 

“Alexandra.” She looked at him, “are you sure you are…?”

“As much as I can be, I suppose.” He walked over to her. “He wanted me to have a family so much, now he will never meet his…” she bit her lips together. 

“I promise,” Loki tilted her head up to look at him. “I will take care of you.” His hand fell to her stomach. “Both of you.” 

“I am sure he would be happy to hear that.” she gave a weak smile. 

“Those words you and your mother said, about knocking down and knocking back?”

“What of them?” 

“What…?”

“He said that to mother when she lost the babies,” Alexandra explained sadly. “I…” she looked around looking lost. 

“You need to rest.” 

“I am fine.” 

“You are quite heavy with child, your father has just passed away and you have not rested well in over a week, you are not fine,” Loki argued. 

“I do not need you of all people telling me what I am and am not, you do not actually know me that well.” Alexandra dismissed curly.

“And who is to blame for that?” Loki growled. 

“You are, because the day I met you, you were horrible to me and I never did anything to deserve that, I just wanted to help you with your punishment, but you spat horrible things back at me, and I never did anything to deserve that.” she snapped, tears of anger in her eyes. “Now I am stuck with you and have the misfortune to call you my husband and the father of my child.” She turned and stormed out of the room, leaving Loki looking after her sadly.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra buries her father, while Loki is unsure how to proceed with her after her vitriol filled words, leading him to get advice from two beings he never thought he would.

The funeral was a lavish affair; Eoin had been well respected among his own realm and others for his care for his people. Diplomats and royalty came from the Nine Realms while the people of Vanaheim lowered their work tools for three days and stood along the streets, their heads bowed as his body was brought to the royal tomb on the mountain near the city to be laid to rest. 

Loki’s family rushed to their close allies sides for the affair, Frigga assisting Tatiana, who understandably felt lost without her husband, Odin and Thor assisted in keeping Mikhail in line, if just for the funeral itself, while Loki simply remained dutifully by Alexandra’s side. 

Since her snapping at him about her getting rest, she had not spoken to him; she ignored him completely, as though he was not there. When his family came to give her their condolences, she was polite and spoke a little with them all, but not with Loki. 

They watched as Eoin was placed in the crypt and the capstone placed on his tomb before the door closed and sealed once more until the next member of the Vanir family passed on. Loki frowned, not realising the vast difference between his wife’s family traditions and his own. 

“Your worry is for nought, you will be given Aesir funeral rites.” He turned to look at Alexandra, shocked her first words since her father’s passing were regarding such a matter. “That is what you were thinking, was it not, how you did not want such a burial.” 

“Actually I was merely thinking how different it is.” He answered. “We are so alike yet so different as two realms.” 

“Many would the same of you and I, we are very similar, yet we are so very different.” 

“Yes.” Loki looked at her, her stomach not showing with her black shawl expertly hiding it. “My family do not know.”

“I would have thought you would have told them.” 

“I thought it was a custom to tell the families together.” 

“Usually, yes, but considering this is a funeral.” 

“Alexandra…” he sighed as she hastened her pace and moved on before he could say any more. 

“Loki.” He turned to see his father walking over to him. “How are you faring?”

“My father-in-law is dead, my mother-in-law is nigh on catatonic and my wife despises me, how do you think?” 

“What has occurred?” 

“Why do you care?” 

“Loki…”

“You knew of our feelings for one another, you knew we could not stand one another, and yet you agreed to this.”

“Can you not see why yet, my son? Vanaheim is now in need of a strong leader, Eoin’s death is badly timed, Mikhail is fighting ardently that he be given the crown, but you are the deciding factor, without you, there is talk he would use force, harm Alexandra and Tatiana.”

“You could not have foreseen that.” 

“No, but Eoin did, as did those in court. You were always the only strong candidate for this job.” 

“Even if my wife hates me.” 

“Alexandra does not hate you, Loki.” 

“Father, the night Eoin died, she stated she had the misfortune to be wed to me, that I am the sire of her…” Loki ceased speaking, realising his error.

“She is with child?” 

“Halfway.” 

“You said nothing to us.” 

“When I supposed to tell you all, during my father-in-law’s funeral, or while they placed him in the crypt?”

“Is Alexandra…?”

“She is not speaking, she is not eating, and she is not sleeping,” Loki answered, almost angry. “If she continues this path I will be putting my wife and child in that crypt with her father within the month.” 

“If Tatiana does not get there first.” Loki looked at his father in shock. “Your mother thinks she has not the strength to continue if she continues as she is.”

“Does Alexandra know?”

“I do not know.” 

Loki sighed and rubbed his hands down his face. “Norn’s…”

“They need you Loki, look at everything you did for Eoin.” Odin indicated around them. “Only you could have assisted in all of this. No other could be entrusted with something as big as this.” 

“Not even Thor?” Loki said in a scoffing manner. 

“Thor is a great warrior and will be a good king when the time comes, but your brother could not organise a drinking festival in a brewery, much less a funeral of a king, when my time comes, I hope I have long enough to tell you to come and deal with everything,” Odin commented. Loki looked at him, his eyes wide. “I push you not because I think you are incapable, but because I have always wanted to have you excel, you have more potential than you realise, you need to find it,” he ceased talking and looking over at Prince Mikhail, who was glaring at them. “And you need to use every last ounce of it at this time.” He stated, not looking at son. 

Loki stared back at the other Vanir royal. “I shall.” His attention was pulled to something across the room, his focus going onto his wife, who was speaking with a Jötunn, he looked over worriedly. 

“Do not fret, she is under no threat, the Vanir and Jötnar have buried their differences.” His father stated calmly. 

“How have we not?”

“Because I still have their Casket.” 

As though sensing them looking at her, Alexandra looked over for a moment, nodding slightly and went back to speaking with the Frost Giant. “How can I help her if she will not let me in? She does not trust me. She despises me.” 

“No, she does not.” 

Loki scoffed. “And you would know that better than I from Asgard?”

“She keeps looking around for you, and only seems relieved if you are close by.” 

“Then why does she always seem so angry at me?”

“What do you think the opposite of love is, Loki?” Odin asked curiously. 

Loki looked at him as though seeing if it was some form of test. “Hatred, obviously,” he answered, wondering why his father was asking. Odin simply chuckled. “I fail to see the joke; it is a simple question with a simple answer.” He stated irritably. 

“And yet you failed to answer it correctly,” Odin responded. 

“What are you prattling on about?” Loki became more annoyed at his father. 

“The opposite of love is not hate,” Odin pointed out. “Hate is a passionate emotion, it is far closer linked to love than most can fathom.”

“I think you wrong, but for the sake of argument, we shall say you speak the truth, so what is the opposite of love?” 

“Indifference,” Odin stated simply. “Love is a focus of good emotion on a person, hatred, is the negative, but indifference means no reaction at all, meaning there is no caring in any aspect for a person, Alexandra is not indifferent to you.” 

“She hates me.” 

“No, I think not.” 

“And pray tell, how do you know?” 

“Because she is so like your mother, she was cold to me at the beginning too, but when she carried Thor, something changed, just as something seems to have changed in Alexandra.” 

Loki looked around at his wife again, seeing her force herself to not put her hand on their child, knowing feeling it move comforted her in some way. It was then he realised his father was correct, she was glancing at him, seeing him look at her caused her to calm slightly, her fidgeting lessening.

“Go to your wife, she needs your assistance.” 

“She does not act as though she does.” 

“That is because she does not know how to ask, she thinks she has to do this alone because she thinks you do not care,” Odin informed him before walking off, not allowing his younger son delay any longer. 

Realising what his father had done, Loki walked over to his wife, looking at the large ice realm being next to her as he did so. “Niota, this is my husband, Prince Loki.”

“Your Highness.” The Jötunn bowed. “I was apologising to your wife for not being at your wedding, however, there were…complications.” 

There was a small hint of something in the Frost Giant’s tone that told Loki exactly what she was stating. “I fear that I have to take my blame in that, Niota, I…well, honestly I wished for the wedding to be on Asgard, I did not think through the situation I caused, and for that, I have to give my sincerest apologies.” He stated earnestly. “I wish to make it up to you.” 

“I thank you for your words Your Highness, as I was saying to your wife; I understand you were not reared to understand the closeness of our realms. Alexandra is to thank for that.” Loki frowned and looked at his wife. “When she was younger, she wrote me often, to ask what was the reasoning behind the animosity between the realms, she was adamant to ensure a good relationship between us all, and so did just that. She is a diamond in the rough, this one.”

Loki looked at Alexandra who gave a small but proud smile beside him. “It sounds like my wife alright; she will do anything for the betterment of her realm and indeed, others.” 

“Would it not be correct for you to say ‘our’ realm?” the Jötnar commented. “We are aware that you are of Asgard, but so too are we aware that you are now to be king of Vanaheim by your wife’s side.” 

“I…yes, that is very true.” Loki conceded. 

“Your Highness,” they turned to see a maid curtseying to Alexandra, “Your mother is asking for you.” 

“Excuse me.” Alexandra left as soon as the words left her mouth. 

“She requires you now.” Loki turned to Niota, “You need to be a rock for her.” 

“I am trying.” 

“Yet you referred to it as ‘her’ realm not ‘our’ which does not assist, it implies you do not see yourself as truly her husband, someone she can see as her equal.”

“We are not equals.” 

“You think yourself above her?” 

“On the contrary, you have it the wrong way around, I am the second born, she is an heiress.”

“But she wishes for it to be that you are equals.” Loki frowned. “A king marries, and his wife is queen, a queen marries, and the title of king is not automatic to her spouse,” Niota explained. “Alexandra wishes for you to be king, alongside her, her partner, her equal.” 

Loki turned to look for his wife, who was over with her mother, her demeanour showing her comforting the older woman. Her face kind and loving, the way he had seen it as she slept, or as she looked fondly at her stomach when she thought she was alone. “I did not…”

“Alexandra is a master of initiating conversation, even in the most hostile of situations, but even she can only go so far if there is no one willing to listen on the other end,” Niota commented. “Speak with your wife, she wishes so greatly to be able to talk with you, she always has.” Loki’s brows furrowed. “That first summer on Asgard, she wanted so desperately to connect with you, so much so, she stated she was willing to shine armour, but you pushed her away, after that, you would not entertain even being in her presence.” 

Loki swallowed, knowing it was all true. “She told you this?”

“She did, she also told me that she has found herself lost in her marriage, as she fears all that concerns you is the child being birthed healthy so you do not have to deal with her on such a personal level anymore. She also fears a daughter would anger you.”

Loki looked at the Frost Giant in horror. “I never…”

“Said such a thing, no; implied it, more than likely not, but you did not put such concerns to rest either.” She pointed out. “After all, the Allfather made note to all the realms of the fact he had two sons, she is only going on the fact if he is like that, you too could be of a similar mind.” 

“She seems to speak to everyone but me regarding me.” 

“Only her confidants, her mother and I.” 

“You are whom the letters in her table are from.” Loki realised. 

“I am.” The Jötunn confirmed. 

“Does she…does she despise me?” Loki felt foolish and scared asking but knew he had to. 

“No.” the Jötunn replied. “She does not, nothing of the sort.” Loki sighed in relief. “I am not saying she loves you as you do her, but she can, if you let her.” 

“I…”

“Cannot hide your feelings. She is right, for the Liesmith, you are not so good at bluffing.” Niota chuckled. “Excuse me, your Highness, I look forward to the many occasions we shall speak in the future, your wife is right, you are quite pleasurable to speak with, when you wish to be.” with another bow, the Jötunn left Loki to his thoughts.


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra is woken by a concerned Loki leading to a rush for a healer and Frigga finding out about the baby, just when things cannot get worse, they get worse.

“Alexandra.” Loki looked worriedly at his wife, who was moaning and flinching in her sleep. “Alexandra, I beseech you, please wake up.” He shook her slightly. 

“What?” she looked around, not entirely awake, “What is happening?”

“Are you alright?” 

“Loki?”

“Yes.” 

“Why did you wake me?” she rubbed her eyes. “Is someone ill?”

“No…” he looked at her analytically. “Are you alright?”

“Me? Yes, I think. Why would I not be?”

“You were…did you have a bad dream?”

Alexandra thought for a moment. “Not that I am aware of, why?”

“You…you seemed to be fearful or in pain.” 

“I am fine.” She dismissed. “Well, fine as I can be.” 

“Are you anxious?”

“Tomorrow, a mere day after I have buried my father, I have to take his crown, what do you think?” she half-growled. 

“Alexandra…” he tried to pull her to him, knowing it, at least, gave the child comfort, but she fought him. “You need…”

“You need to stop telling me what I need.” She finished. 

“I am your husband, I am worried about you.” 

“You are worried about the baby, try not to play me for a fool on that front, you insult us both that way.” She growled. 

“Yes, I care for our child, what sort of father would not, but I care about you also.” He snapped back, she did not respond. “I understand that you are hurting, Norn’s I do, but cease pushing me away.” 

“You never cared about me.” She curled up in the blanket. 

“Norn’s you are testing. I do care, you are my wife, and you need me, I need to be here for you, I want to assist.” 

“You are under no obligation.” 

“I may not be, but I wish to be. I want to help you, however, possible through this.” 

“Why?” she eyed him suspiciously. 

“I need a reason?”

“You have never cared for me, so yes, I want to know your motive.” 

“You know nothing of how I feel for you,” Loki warned. 

“You have made it clear since we were youths your thoughts of me.” 

“Are you saying I cannot mature over the years?”

“You…” Alexandra was about to retort again when she felt a pain course up through her back and around to her abdomen. 

“Alexandra!” 

“The baby…” she hissed, trying to control her breathing. 

“What is happening?” Loki pulled her round to him. 

“I…”

“Alexandra.”

“I think I am losing it.” She half wept. 

“It may be nothing of the sort.” He tried to calm her, though he knew he needed to alert the healers as to her situation. “I will call for the healers and they will tell us what is happening.”

“I am so sorry.” She began to cry. 

“No, no sorrys, you will see in a moment, there is nothing truly wrong.” He was only half talking to her, half telling himself in hopes of not panicking. “Just stay here.” Rushing to the door, he got a guard to call for a healer, before rushing to where his parents were staying and pounding on the door. 

Odin opened, Gungnir is his hand. “Loki…”

“Tell mother to come to my rooms, Alexandra…”

“Go to her, I will get your mother.” Odin closed the door and Loki did as he was told. 

Not knowing who else to call, especially since Tatiana had been sedated by the healers because she was so stressed by her husband’s death, so he rushed back. “I called the healer and my mother, they will be here in a moment.” He informed Alexandra, who was sitting up in the bed. 

“I think I am in labour.” 

“It is far too early.” Loki shook his head. 

“Loki?” Frigga entered the room, “What…oh, Norn’s.” she stared at Alexandra’s stomach. “Why…”

“She thinks she is in labour mother, help her, please.” 

Frigga looked from her distressed son to his terrified looking wife. “If the pain is not consistent, it is not labour, sweetheart.” She soothed. “Has it a rhythm?” Alexandra shook her head. “Then whatever it is, it is not that, we will have you right as rain in no time. Tell me what is going on.” 

“It hurts, and my stomach is hard.” 

Frigga frowned. “Alright, Loki, have you called a healer?”

“I sent for one.” 

“Good, we are going to get this sorted.” She stated as reassuringly as possible, pushing Alexandra’s hair back off her face in a comforting manner. When a knock came to signify there was another wanting to enter, she went and opened the door. 

“Loki.” He turned to see his wife looking at him. “I am so sorry.” She swallowed, tears completely blurring her vision. 

“Whatever for?” he asked, taking her hand and holding it in his. 

“I might lose the baby.” 

“I said it before and I will say it again, not the, not your, our baby, it is our baby and if we lose it, then that is what the Norn’s decide, but stop trying to blame yourself for this.” He kissed her hand. 

“I am sorry I have been so horrible to you these past few days.”

“You are mourning, you are tired, pregnant, hungry and stressed, I cannot fathom how you are feeling.” He stated. “Besides, your words were true enough. I never tried, not since that very first day. You always did, but you were bound to give up eventually, I should commend you on your resilience to the task.” 

“Most would have called me a slow learner.” She scoffed. 

Loki smiled. “Perhaps, we will debate it after you are checked over.” 

“Promise?” there was a small glimmer of hope in his wife’s eyes. 

Loki leant down and much to her shock kissed her. “I promise.” With that, he walked out of the room with his mother on the healer’s request. 

“You have made substantial progress with your marriage, I see.” Frigga smiled, looking at her son. “Why did you not tell me?”

“Because just when I thought I had, we took a monumental step backwards.” 

“I think it more accurate to say you had a small setback.” His mother corrected. “And why did you not mention the baby?” 

“I accidentally told father. But I…we were supposed to tell you as a joyous occasion, not have all this happen, nothing…it did not go as planned.” 

“I can see that.” she laughed. “This is a wonderful thing.” She smiled at her son. 

“If they are alright.” Loki looked again to the door. 

“They will be, the choice of you as a husband took this into account, the chance of her suffering as Tatiana had is almost none. Your genes are far stronger than hers, they will protect your children.” 

“What about her?” His mother looked at him confused. “What about Alexandra, will she be alright, how can we be sure she will be?” He asked, his panic obvious. 

Frigga’s eyes widened. “You love her.” 

“I think I do.” He admitted for the first time. “As much as I tried not to, as much as I stupidly tried to push her away, I just…I have no idea when this even happened.” He stated, as much to himself as to his mother. 

“I am so happy to hear that my darling.” She beamed, cupping his face in her hands. 

“But I think I have pushed her too far now.” 

“Her face when you gave her that kiss, it was not one of just shock, but one of almost hope.” 

“She is scared she is failing.” 

“All mothers fear that.” 

“Me, she is scared of failing me.” He snapped. “What if she…if she loses the baby, I lose her.” He fell onto a chair, his face in his hands. 

Frigga immediately went over and rubbed his back. “Darling, you will not lose either of them.” 

“Mother.” Both Frigga and Loki turned to see a fearful looking Thor standing to the side of them. “Brother.” 

“Thor, whatever it is, just spit it out.” Loki hissed, not wanting to wait to know what his brother wanted. 

“Father sent someone to see if he could rise, Tatiana.” Thor began, there was no need for him to say anymore. Frigga’s hand went to her open mouth. “I am sorry, brother.” 

 

Loki just stared at him, almost disbelievingly. “This cannot possibly get any worse.” He shook his head. As though the Norn’s had decided to torture him, the healer walked out of his bed quarters, looking at him in shock.


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra tries to deal with everything that has occurred in her life in such a short time, leading her to have to lean on Loki, something she never thought she would be doing.

Alexandra refused to leave go of Loki’s hand, she did not care if it made her look weak, or if others even looked at all, she needed someone to hold her, and he was the one who settled her most, even if it was just because the baby seemed to recognise his presence next to her. 

Her tiredness, hunger and stress had been supposedly the cause of her pains, not the baby, according to the healer, the child was perfectly fine, Loki sensed it with his seidr, and sure enough, it was still sleeping, its small heart beating rhythmically in her. 

“It was her; I was ill because I was sensing it was her,” Alexandra stated in a monotone voice. “I …”

“Sweetheart,” Frigga, who was sitting next to her and Loki as they waited for the healer to come out of her mother’s room, after rushing out of Loki’s and Alexandra’s, shocked to have overheard what was said of the Queen. “You are so sensitive to the world around you,” she smiled fondly, placing some stray hair behind her ear. 

Loki held her against him, causing her to lean into him even more. “Do you want me to get Niota?” 

She thought of his words for a moment, noticing how he seemed to realise and respect her close friendship with a being she knew he had been raised to hate. “No, let her sleep, her being here doesn’t make any difference, my mother will be dead either way.” She shrugged. 

“What is going on?” the Aesir royal family turned to see Mikhail strutting down the hallway. 

“Oh, Norn’s,” Odin sighed quietly, shaking his head. 

“Tatiana has passed in her sleep,” Loki informed him, getting to his feet, but his hand still in his wife’s. 

Mikhail looked at the small gesture. “I will inform the appropriate parties that the coronation is cancelled then,” he stated almost gleefully, turning to leave. 

“No.” all gathered in the hallway looked at Alexandra, slightly startled. “You will do no such thing.” She growled at him. 

“You cannot expect to go ahead…”

“I can, and I will.” She rose to her feet, glaring at him. “My father would want it, my mother almost insisted on it being so soon and the people need it, it goes ahead.”

“You would have a coronation the same days as your mother is laid to rest?” he looked at her with disgust. 

“Mother’s funeral rites are three days long, same as any other’s so she will not be laid to rest tomorrow regardless.” She took a step forward. “Need I remind you Mikhail, I am Crowned Princess, and your tone is anything but acceptable, so either assist or get back to whatever poor misfortunate is forced to fill your bed and cease your lecturing of my ideas of what is appropriate for the days after a death when you use your own brother’s funeral as an opportunity to find yourself a bedmate.” Even Odin was taken back by the fire in his daughter-in-law's voice. 

Mikhail glared at her, knowing there was little he could do or say to refute her words; he knew them to be true too. “Perhaps you should be more inclined to such activities, after all, if you are to be made queen, you will need heirs, and considering…” there was a malicious smirk on his face as he spoke. 

“My mother is not yet cold and you still mock her and her suffering.” Loki foresaw his wife’s anger and placed his arms around her, stopping her from going over and slapping the filthy creature across the face. Part of him wanted to let her, but he knew that Mikhail could very easily harm the baby or her if she did. “As regards heirs, that is well and truly nothing to worry of.” She grinned smarmily back, giving a small nod to Loki, who released her enough to move her robe aside to reveal her swollen abdomen, much to Mikhail’s shock. 

“Vanaheim will be celebrating the birth of an heir before they celebrate the summer solstice.” Loki declared proudly. “Now, do as my wife commands as your ruler, or I will deal with you, personally. And I can guarantee to you Mikhail, siring sons will no longer be an issue for you, for you will lack the anatomy to consider such.”

Looking between the pair for a moment, he turned and left, mumbling to himself as he went down the hallway. 

“Wait, Alexandra is with child?” Thor asked in shock. “Why does no one tell me anything?” 

“Not the time, darling.” Frigga shook her head at her older son. Thor seemed set to respond to her again but the door opened and the healer came out, silencing them all immediately. 

“All I can say is that the king’s death seemed to be the last loss she could bear.” The healer stated. “Her body just seems to have ceased its wish to work.”

“Her heart?” Frigga asked. 

“I dare say it broke in her loss of His Majesty.” The healer looked to Alexandra, “My Queen, you need to rest.” 

“I need to see her for a moment.” She stated. 

“Alone?” Loki asked, but he had his answer when she gripped him so tightly his already pale skin turned alabaster at his fingers from her grip tightening. “Now?” She nodded, so he led the way. 

The room was dark enough, only one light flickered at the side of the bed, and Tatiana lay still in its light. 

“She looks so peaceful.” Alexandra noted, looking at her, “When did she begin to look so old?”

“We do not tend to realise we are seeing our parents’ age,” Loki stated, though he too noticed Tatiana indeed looked more aged than he had paid attention to of late. 

“Your father went grey, so did mine.” Alexandra pointed out. 

“That is an obvious one, but has my mother changed much?” 

“No, not really, she still looks as elegant as the day I went to Asgard, maybe a little older, but not the better part of three hundred years.” She sat on the bed in front of her mother. “She needed him.” 

“He was her rock, through everything that happened, he kept her cared for, loved, without him…”

“What about me?” Alexandra sounded almost like a young child. “I needed her…I need her so much now, with the coronation and the baby, why did she leave me?” she began to cry. 

“Alexandra…” Loki pulled her to him, “I know you want her, and I do understand you wanting her there beside you with the baby, but you are not alone.” He kissed her head. “You have my family and me, we will be there for you, I promise.” 

“But they are your family, not mine, I want mine.” She cried. 

“I am your family.” She made a sound Loki could interpret as a scoff in some circumstances. “I am, I am your husband, the father of our child, I am not going to leave you to suffer this alone, any of it.” 

“You cannot be with me when the baby is born.” 

“Yes, I can.” 

“No, you are a man you are not allowed.” 

“Woman, I am Loki of Asgard, if I want to be with my wife when she is birthing our child, then damn it, I shall be,” he growled. “If you want me to be there, I will be.”

“The healer’s will not allow it.” 

“I thought you said you heard of my actions during our betrothal, if you really did, then you know that which I am capable of. A few simple caregivers cannot stop me.” 

“I thought you said not to believe everything I hear of you?” she quirked a brow. 

“Well, I may have had a few exaggerated, but most everything is as it is was.” He grinned. 

Alexandra gave a small smile and looked back to her mother. “Do you think I am doing the right thing, continuing with our coronation tomorrow? I never even consulted you with Mikhail there.” 

“You could not do such a thing with him present, not that you need ever consult with me regardless, but yes, I agree with you, your father would want it, as would your mother, with the baby, the coronation being soon is a good thing, I do not want you stressing yourself with such manners as the time approaches.” 

“Why would I not consult with you, it is your coronation too?” She looked at him confused. 

“I am your husband, not the heir.” 

“You are my husband, and as the husband of the heir, you too, are the heir.” She pointed out. 

“As Niota stated, I am not to be king solely by being your husband.” 

“When did she say that?”

“After you left our company.” 

“You continued to talk then?”

“Yes.” 

“But you hate Jötnar.” She looked at him. 

“No, I do not, I merely distrust them.” 

“Same difference.” 

“Entirely different, besides, she is your confidante and friend, she spoke to me with respect so I responded in kind.” He explained. 

“I want you to be King.” 

“I thought you were studying hard so you would not require me?”

“I have changed my mind.” 

“Why is that?”

“Because my father pointed out just how well suited you are to the job, and because as I watched you since our marriage, I agree.” Loki looked at her, shocked. “I want you by my side Loki, please.” 

“I promise, even when you are fit to strangle me.” 

“That is always.” 

“Then I shall always be by your side.” He smiled. 

“When did you stop being so spiteful of me?” She asked, looking at him. 

“I think it was the day of our wedding, you looked so beautiful, I had not realised before that day how much so, and when the night came,” he rubbed her stomach, sensing the child inside. “And we created this little one, you seemed so terrified, but you did it, because of your love for your realm, every time I see you speak of Vanaheim you speak as one who only wants the best for her home, and even when I was so horrid to you, you continued on, because you thought it best for Vanaheim to do so. Your perseverance, I envy it, I went about like a petulant child, but you decided to force yourself to mature enough to deal with it. Then I began watching you, and I realised, I…”

“You said you did not love me yet?” she was looking at him as though realising what he was not saying.

“I thought I did not until you were potentially ill, and I was speaking with mother and she called me out on it, but I do, I love you, Alexandra.” He looked to Tatiana. “I will care for you as they would want you cared for, and I will care for our children in a similar manner.” 

“Thank you.” She smiled, holding his hand. Turning a little, she looked back to her mother. “There is a heartbreaking romance to it.” 

“What?”

“Her following my father so quickly like they could not be without one another, in any way.” 

“They are together for eternity now.” Loki nodded solemnly. 

“That must be a scary thought for you, you couldn’t stand me for a summer.” She looked at him with a quirked brow and a small smile. 

“You are taking this far better than I thought you would.”

“I think I may be in shock, but I also think the fact I know they are together again and my mother is not suffering great anguish helps too.” She explained. “When this is all over, I cannot guarantee I will be standing tall.” 

“You are quite short, so probably not, but I will be there beside you, regardless,” Loki promised.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Following Tatiana's death, Alexandra and Loki are crowned, but for all their progress and jestful comments, they are still awkward and Mikhail is only too happy to try and drive a wedge in the new monarch's marriage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry about the delay, my laptop is 10 years old, and the Microsoft Word is 2003, and it crashed, spectacularly, and would not allow me access ANYTHING, I mean WTF??? So anyway, here you go.

The coronation was more sombre than such affairs usually tended to be, but with Queen Tatiana joining her husband so quickly in the Afterlife, it was the only manner in which it could be held. The Lords of Court agreed with Alexandra and Loki, a swift coronation in times of such upset was a required thing. Not just to protect the crown, but to give some glimmer of light in such darkness. When Alexandra and Loki stood atop the hall of the throne room, Odin beaming proudly at the pair as he placed their crowns atop their heads, the hall cheered, but when Loki moved the large cape that Alexandra donned and revealed to the realm she was bearing a child, the people gasped and applauded loudly once again. Turning to face them as their new rulers, the pair smiled as best they could. 

“Is it odd?” Loki looked to Alexandra curiously. “Having a crown before your brother?”

“I never thought I would have one at all, I have to say, I am unsure of what to make of it,” Loki commented. 

“Not even when we were betrothed did you think it plausible?”

“No,” Alexandra raised a brow. “I thought you would get the crown, void the marriage and cast me out of Vanaheim, never to set foot here again.” He explained. 

“Sorry to have shattered that dream for you.” She gave a small smile. 

Loki shrugged, “I shall have to get over it, I suppose.” Alexandra could not help but laugh. “Are you alright?”

“Tired, heartbroken, but happy I did this, my parents would want it, they would want us to show the realm that it is safe to move on, to ensure Mikhail did not get his hands on the throne.” 

“That is not going to happen anytime soon.” Loki looked to the sickened looking prince, “Or ever.”

“Yes, but I can still see him causing issue wherever he can.” 

“To be expected, but we can handle him.” Loki took her hand in his and raised it to his lips, kissing it while maintaining eye contact with her. 

“Quite the charmer behind it all, are you not?”

“I should have shown you this side of me long before now.” he acknowledged. “It could have saved a lot of heartache.” 

“But where is the fun in straightforwardness?” she jested. 

“May I ask you something?” Alexandra nodded, looking at her husband curiously. “How do you feel regarding me?” She swallowed for a moment. “In all honesty, do not sugar-coat anything, and do not lie.” 

“I am beginning to see why your mother adores you, your brother for his arrogance looks to you for guidance and why your father always pushed you more than he does Thor. I am beginning to see the version of you that you hid from me for whatever reason you chose, and I can honestly say, that you do not act the arrogant fool you depicted in out earlier meetings, I am actually quite happy to be wed to you.”

“I will take it.” 

“I cannot say I feel the same affection for you as you do me, but I am to birth our child soon, that is altering things slightly.”

Loki chuckled, causing her to look at him. “You are acting as my mother did carrying Thor; she only started to not want to mortally wound Odin then.” 

“I do not want to mortally wound you, yet.” 

“Yet?” Loki looked at her worriedly. 

“Well, I hear it said that childbirth is extremely painful, I cannot say that I will remain to hold such a sentiment when I am in the throes of labour.” She stated factually. 

“That is a fair point,” he gave her a small smile. “I thank you for the forewarning.” 

“Are you still sure you wish to remain with me through the process with such information?”

Loki took her hand in his, “I mean it, Alexandra, if you require my being there, then the Norns themselves will not stop me from being so.” 

Alexandra gave him a fond smile. “I can well imagine what you would say to the Norns if they stood between you and anything you desire.” 

Loki chuckled in response, “And beside me, would stand you, causing them to wince as your slicing words cut through them like razor sharp swords.” 

“You see us, standing side by side?” she cocked her head slightly.

Loki looked at her with a small smile, one she saw him only use on one other before, his mother, but there was an extra small glisten in his eye as he bestowed it on her. “You insist on me being by your side here, would that not be replicated in front of the Norns?”

“I think whatever request you would make would be given to you immediately, especially if it would risk both of us being in front of them otherwise.” 

“My darling wife, there is no such thing as a request with me.” He grinned. “It would be a demand, and it would be followed.”

“I would wager so.” She smiled in return. “It suits you.”

“Talking about threatening the Norn’s?” he asked, somewhat confused.

Alexandra laughed slightly, “The crown.”

“Shining praise from you?” Loki looked at his wife, somewhat perturbed by her comments, “Are you about to do something?” her response was a somewhat bemused look. “You can hardly blame me; you usually are the first to ridicule me.” 

Alexandra sighed, looking at her hands, “I know, and I am sorry.” 

“I did not mean it like that.” Loki backtracked. 

When Alexandra looked at him again, there was something between resignation and a scoff in her features. “But you did.” Loki’s eyes darted to the side. “And I understand why.”

Loki realised their pleasant conversation had fallen quickly into an old routine. “I started it all, I know that now, but we cannot continue this. We need to work hard on looking after everything for Vanaheim and the baby.” He stated firmly, wanting to get them back on track. 

“I really need to lie down.” Alexandra rubbed her forehead and rose from her chair, Loki made to follow her in concern. “Please,” she put her hand up to stop him. “I am not trying to run from all of this, please stay here and make sure everything is alright.” 

“But…”

“I am just tired and worn out, I just need to rest.” She answered. “I will be fine.” Unconvinced, Loki sat back in the chair again, watching as she left the room. 

“So, you got it in the end.” A voice snarled from behind her as Alexandra walked the hallway to her private rooms. “And a brat to boot,” she turned to see Mikhail looking at her in disgust. 

“I was the only viable option; everyone knew that, everyone accepts that, except you.” She stated, her hand instinctively going over her abdomen to protect her child. “And yes, I have a child too, the future ruler of Vanaheim.” 

“Unless you prove as useless as your mother in carrying it.”

Alexandra stepped forward, irate at his words. “My mother is not yet in the crypt and you mock her.”

“One thing you have to credit me, my precious niece, I did not wait for her death to say such things, I liked to remind her often during her life also.” 

“You say that as though it a brag.” Alexandra scoffed. 

“I like to state the truth, even if it is not particularly wanted.” He grinned. 

“And what truth do you wish to bestow on me that all this has been leading up to, I can almost smell your enthusiasm at saying it from here.” 

“Where is your husband?”

“He remained in the hall, to tend to matters. Childbearing and losing one's parents so close together are exhausting, I need a rest, the realm needs ruling, my husband is the greatest seidr wielder in the realms, but even he cannot juggle such matters simultaneously.” She replied. “So I will ask again, what is it you are so excited to spit at me?”

“Nothing really, it would not be kind.” Mikhail turned to leave. “But I should warn you, it will be late when he returns to you tonight.” Alexandra frowned. “He will have others to attend to.” With that, he began to walk away. 

Alexandra did not like what her uncle was implying, and she was no fool, she knew exactly what it was that he was trying to imply. She recalled the words Loki had said on their honeymoon, he had not bedded another, and though part of her thought it untrue, she had no reason to not believe him either. She just laughed and shook her head as she walked on. 

When she woke again, she felt the sheets of the bed moving up, cool air brushing in around her bare legs, before the bed sank, indicating her husband had gotten in behind her. “Just so you know, it’s being implied by my uncle that you are servicing women other than myself.” She stated sleepily. “And that is why you are so late back to bed.” 

“Nice of you to tell me, he spent the last hour delaying me from returning here, saying our child is sired by another man.” 

“You caught me, it was the coachman in Alfheim that sired it.” 

“You know, I could not be angered by that, for would find that to be too impressive, considering he seemed to be older than Yggdrasil.” Alexandra erupted in laughter at his words. “But that would be easily noticed, what with him being an elf.”

“And for it to be one of your servants, he would have had to had the unmitigated courage to have done it in front of you.” 

Loki chuckled. “So I am bedding other women at present and you are carrying another man’s child, correct?” 

“That seems to be the long and the short of it.” 

Loki pulled her close to him, wrapping his arm around her to her rotund stomach. “Good to know,” He sighed, his nose being tickled by her hair. 

“You know it is yours, right?” Alexandra stated, looking around. 

“I am insulted,” Loki declared. “My own wife forgets who I am.”

“You would never let any forget who you are, Loki.” She scoffed. 

“Then you know, that I know it is my child, my seidr senses it, and I know you are not lying, so rest assured, I know.”


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time slips by, and Loki and Alexandra get into a routine as monarchs, until their child decides to be born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *knocks gently* Hi, remember this, I finally got around to actually writing for it again, so enjoy and yes, I know it is one step forward and two steps back for these two.

Alexandra sighed as the warm water surrounded her as her body sank into the bath tub, in the four months since her parents had died and she and Loki had taken the throne, there were very few issues, bar the usual expected teething issues, and the baby continued to grow well and safe.

Mikhail’s accusations and comments were met with open hostility by most every member of the court, some outright asking the new royals if they wanted him whipped and imprisoned for treason. Both agreed the shock of the suggestion, and the banning of him and his sons from the Privy Council was punishment enough, for now. Should he continue to act as he was, perhaps that was an option.

Exhausted, she dunked her head under the water for a moment to wet her hair and came up again and grabbed a towel to place behind her back, which ached considerably of late with the weight of the child she was carrying.

She knew that soon it would be time to birth the baby, Frigga was arriving from Asgard in a few days to be there should Alexandra require support. Loki, as expected, had met resistance from the healers when he declared that so long as his wife wanted him there, he would be present for the birth. The idea was met with shock and disgust from his father and brother when he told them of his plans when he and Alexandra had gone to Asgard for Thor's engagement celebrations, both going on about tradition and how it was just not something a man should deal with. Loki reminded them very quickly who was partly to blame for when a woman became with child and mocked both, saying that there was a reason men were not usually present, because they had not sufficient mettle for what happened at such a time, and he was no ordinary man. Thor simply shuddered, and Anna revealed in a letter to Alexandra that he had shied from her since Loki told him of what he suspected he had to witness as his wife birthed, both Vanir monarchs laughed at that.

Alexandra groaned as her back ached again, sharp and strong pains began to irk her on and off a few hours before as she sat on the throne, but this was the first time she could relax for any amount of time. She had hoped the bath would assist, and though the aches were not as painful, they were still sore. It was only when she got to get out of the bath and she felt a sudden gush of fluid leave her body, staining the bathwater pink did she realise what had happened. “Loki!” she had not even thought, it was her body’s first instinct, call for her husband. Loki, who had been reading in their quarters, tired from the day’s duties and not able to get a good night’s sleep with his wife’s tossing in her sleep, rushed in at the sound of her calling his name, looking at her worriedly as she stood holding onto the side of the bathtub, feeling the first contraction since her waters broke, which was substantially stronger than the ones before. “The healers…”

“It…” he stood staring fearfully. “But it is not yet due…”

“I do not think our child cares for when the healers think it was due, it wants to come now.” 

“It is early.” 

“Of course it is, when have you ever arrived to something either at the time told or after, you are always early.” She snapped in retort as the contraction finally finished.

“Further proof that he is my son,” Loki grinned, walking over and helping her from the bath.

“So sure of yourself.” She scoffed, holding on to his shoulder.

“Wait and see, Nikolas Lokison will be here before sunup.” He declared.

“How confident can one man be?” Alexandra shook her head. “I need to get dressed.” She looked around for her dressing gown, “So much for washing away the day.”

“What do you mean?”

“My waters broke, in the bath.” 

“I dare say after all of this, you will wish for another one anyway.” Loki dismissed.

“Loki?” he looked at Alexandra, who seemed somewhat scared. “If it is not a boy…”

Loki gave her a reassuring smile, “Then I must forewarn you, no man will ever be good enough for Mya Lokidottir.”

“Why do men get to name children?” 

“Are you saying you dislike the names?” he asked with a raised brow as he brought her to their bed, getting a sheet for her to lie on, knowing that she would continue to make a small mess for another few minutes as the last of her waters came out.

“I cannot say no, you chose Vanir names.”

“Well our child could very much be the future ruler of the realm.”

“I thought you would choose an Aesir name.” 

Loki took her hands in his, “Alexandra, you are my wife and this is our home, I know and respect that.” she looked at him sceptically, but nodded. “Now, you get as comfortable as is possible with a baby trying to birth from you and I will get everything required.” 

“I like how you acknowledge that comfort is not really an option.” 

“I am a realist, my dear.” Loki grinned. 

“Loki?” Loki had turned from her to do as he stated he would but turned back to her again when she had called on him. “If something happens…”

Loki cupped her cheeks gently “nothing will happen, I am here with you, it will be alright.”

“But…”

“If anything happens, it is not your fault.” He looked her dead in the eye as he spoke, “You are doing everything right, you have kept our child safe, you have made them know love since you discovered they were growing in you. When your world began to crumble, you kept our child protected and cared for.” He smiled encouragingly. As she winced once more from a new contraction, he stepped back slightly, watching guiltily as pain surged through her. 

“Your Majesty, perhaps you should take this chance to leave.” The healer suggested to Loki as Alexandra hissed through her teeth as the last of the pain rippled through her as her body prepared to birth their child. 

“I swore to my wife that I would be here with her through this, and I meant it,” Loki stated adamantly. “So long as she wishes for me to be here, I will be.” Knowing she would not dissuade the stubborn royal, the healer decided to forego her attempts and deal with her patient instead, getting everything organised for when the Queen would have to begin to push. 

Loki had read extensively on what he would witness as their child was born, he was not naive, he knew it was long, tedious and difficult, but in his opinion, Alexandra excelled at maintaining her calm and breathing her way through her contractions, and all too soon, the healers told her to sit up, that the baby was ready to arrive. 

“Loki?”

“I am here.” He reached out and took her hand in his. 

“You are never to touch me again.” She hissed as she squeezed his hand to the extent Loki was sure there was going to be circulation issues after, but he did not let it show, whatever pain he felt was nothing in comparison to hers. 

“Every woman says that.” The healer dismissed as she sat in front of the queen, “if they meant it, I would not have delivered eight three infants since I took the position here.” 

“Well, that is something,” Loki admitted. 

“As soon as you feel the urge, you can push.” The healer smiled at Alexandra. 

“Thank the Norns!” She hissed angrily. Only a minute later, an urge greater than her body’s will to breathe coursed through Alexandra and bearing down, she began to push. After several minutes and four contractions, she shook her head. “No.”

“You have to, your Majesty, you have to birth this baby.”

“I am aware I have to birth it, it is not like it can remain in me, but this is not working, it is too uncomfortable,” Alexandra explained, trying to pull herself up more. 

“What are you doing?” Loki asked as she put her hand out to get him to help her turn. 

“Changing to something else, it hurts too much.” She explained, sighing in relief as the pain ceased. 

“It is supposed to hurt, you are birthing a child.” The healer stated. 

“It is supposed to hurt where the baby is coming, not all the way up my spine, I cannot bear it and I refuse to endure it any longer.” she could not even begin to think of another way to position herself, but so long as it did not mean she would be lying on her back she was happy, as she rested on her knees for a moment thinking, another contraction started, to her surprise, she winced, but the pain was nowhere near as bad. “Okay, this works.” She declared, not caring what anyone else’s thought on it was. 

“You need to lean forward slightly,” Loki advised, “the baby cannot be accessed if you have it so its head is to the sheets.” 

The healer stared in horror as Loki assisted his wife to lean forward in a manner which replicated an animal birthing on all fours. “This is not how this is done.”

“With all due respect, but ‘the way it is done’ is not the manner in which this birth will be happening.” Loki pointed out. “I am in here, assisting my wife, and she will choose a manner to birth the child in the most comfortable manner there is to expel a living being from one's self.” The healer’s appalled face at her husband's words and tone caused Alexandra to chuckle before another contraction caused her to grip the sheets in her hands and bear down with all her might. 

To the healer’s shock and Loki’s and Alexandra‘s combined delight, the birth progressed rapidly and within ten minutes of her deciding her own positioning, and a steady flow of encouragement from Loki, Alexandra pushed one final time before feeling the baby’s body leave her own. Alexandra forced her breathing back to normal as best she could, she took the least amount of time she could to recover, but as she focused on regaining cognitive thought, she realised that she had yet to hear the baby cry. Terrified, she slowly turned to see Loki behind her, holding a blanket in his arms, staring at its contents, his face like one of shock. “Loki?” she asked fearfully.

“Nikolas.” He declared as he looked at her, his face one of elated joy before he began to laugh in disbelief. “I told you he was a son.” 

“Why is he not crying?” 

“Some children are not criers,” The healer explained, trying to get her to sit again now the baby was born. 

“But he is Loki’s son, he is supposed to be irritating.” Loki looked at her bemusedly as she got herself comfortable, “I want to…” She extended her hands, and though he looked almost reluctant, Loki placed the infant in her cradling arms. “Oh Norn’s.” She declared in despair. 

“What?” Loki stared at the baby, wondering what she saw that he did not. 

“He has so many of your traits, the poor creature, he’ll never forgive me.” She smiled, looking to Loki who was staring ahead in disbelief. “He looks so put upon.” Alexandra could not help but laugh. 

As Loki looked at their child, he had to chuckle in agreement, Nikolas seemed to be frowning, as though irritated to have been disturbed from his perfectly warm home into a bright and vast world. “Did I not tell you he would be fine, and you too?” Loki looked at Alexandra, who was looking at her son, her face one that confused him. “What is it?”

“I cannot say.” She looked at Nikolas more intently. “I feel like there is every form of emotion filling me right now, and I cannot cognitively display them.” 

“You have just birthed our child, you are not supposed to be able to process much else, you have exhausted yourself and done such a tremendous labour.” he smiled fondly, placing her hair behind her ear, his touches affectionate in their nature. “You need to rest, recuperate.”

“But he is hungry,” Alexandra pointed out, looking at their son once more, Loki was forced to acknowledge her statement. Nikolas was moving his little head, mouth open in search of a nipple and in turn, milk. 

“Well then, I assume you are aware of what he requires of you, lay back and let him do as is natural.” Loki encouraged. 

“Perhaps a nursemaid would be best, the queen should not have to…”

 

A single glance by both monarchs silenced the healer’s aid, who immediately cowered under their intense glares. “My wife is his mother, she is the best possible manner for him to receive nourishment, ergo, until such time as she feels otherwise, he will be feeding from her, that is all,” Loki stated clearly, daring the healers and their assistants to tell him again that such was not common practice, but they remained silent. Turning once more to Alexandra, he assisted her in allowing her nightdress to open in a manner to release one of her breasts, which to their surprise, was leaking milk, as though her very being sensed what was required of her for their son. 

“Perhaps…” The healer looked at the King unsure of how to continue. 

“I am curious, is it that you think I, in no manner, have seen my wife’s breasts whilst married, I fear you have little idea of how she came to bear our son if that is so?”Loki queried as Alexandra smiled, though a slight blush came to her cheeks. “I have seen every aspect of my wife’s body, and even if I had not, this is the purpose of breasts, to feed our young, which seems to be going well.” He smiled, watching as Nikolas suckled contently, his small fist clenching and unclenching against her breast as he did so. “He is perfect, except of course, in looking like me.” Loki smiled again, unable to focus any other feelings but the ones of joy he had for their child.   
Alexandra huffed a small laugh, “I was jesting.”

“I am aware,” Loki looked at her and his brow furrowed. “You need some rest.” 

“He is not done.” 

“As soon as he is, rest and I will keep watch over you both.”

“But the kingdom, you need to tend to it tomorrow.”

“Tomorrow, Vanaheim will have a day of leisure to celebrate the birth of a male heir, the prince and future king.”

“A lot of pressure for one so small.”

“He will excel as his parents did as youths.” Loki grinned. 

“I hope,” Alexandra looked at their son who had fallen asleep feeding. The healer took the child and gave him to a maid to wind while she and others removed the stained sheets as Loki finally got ready for bed, the sun was almost rising and neither royal had rested. “Loki, where are you going?” She asked fearfully as sleep began to take her, but she noticed her husband leaving the room. 

“To let you get some rest.” Loki stated factually, “I am going to send word to my family, I will return shortly.” 

Watching him leave, Alexandra felt a terrible pang of emotion after him. “But you said we are your family,” she stated meekly, though none heard her words.


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alexandra and Loki are forced to deal with all of the different issues in their marriage, but at the end of it all, is there anything to save?

“He is your son through and through,” Frigga cooed as she looked at her first grandchild, “He is so handsome.”

“Alexandra seemed to cry when he looked like me, apparently it is a great infliction the likes of which he will never forgive her,” Loki responded. 

“Where is she?” 

“In our room, not speaking to anyone,” Loki stated solemnly. Since he had left to inform his family of the birth of Nikolas, Alexandra had sunk into a dark place, she did not want anyone near her bar Nikolas. Loki had to pry him from her just to bring to his parents.

“New mothers suffer many emotions after a child is born, she is probably trying to process everything.” Frigga soothed. 

“She was fine, joking about his demeanour and wanting me to remain with her, but I left to inform you all and when I returned, she was glacial, she is ignoring me,” Loki admitted. “I have no idea what to do.”

“I will go in and speak with her,” She handed Nikolas back to his father, “Perhaps at a time such as this, another mother is what is required, someone that may comprehend her thoughts.” 

Loki nodded and looked at his son, who was looking at him intently, though he knew that all the infant could see was the basic shadow of him. “I cannot believe how much you have matured.” He looked up to see his father standing across from him, looking at him proudly. “And a healthy boy.” He smiled as he walked over. 

“If he had been a girl?”

“You know, contrary to people’s belief, I think a healthy child matters more than what lies between its legs, had you or your brother had been daughters, I would have loved you as dearly, I may actually have been worse, for a daughter is a fret that sons do not carry, I know what men are like, I am one such being, so I know what could be out there for a daughter.” Odin shook his head. “I do sometimes wish your mother and I were blessed with one as well as you and your brother. He is just like you.”

“I had noticed.” Loki smiled, looking down at his son again.   
“May I?” Loki looked at his father in shock as his father asked to hold his son and for a moment, he was apprehensive. “Do you know, after you were born, your mother went to clean herself, insisting on a bath, but with her gone, you began to cry, I soundproofed the bath chambers door, I wanted to her have some peace, she needed just half an hour to right herself, to simply relax after everything childbirth endures. None of her maids could sate you, you had been fed, changed and winded, but still you cried, they held you, sang to you, rocked you, but none could quieten you. I entered the room, worried you were ill, and as though you knew who I was, you extended your small chubby hands to me, like you were pleading for me to hold you. I did, and within moments, you silenced looking up at me, your little face filled with your curiosity.” There was a fondness Loki was startled by in his father’s tone and in his face as he recalled the memory. 

“I perhaps was too frightened to cry if it was your face in front of me.” Loki jested, not sure how to process his father’s words, but he held Nikolas in a manner that allowed his father take the infant, Odin immediately bringing the child to him, his strong arms gently shielding his grandson from falling. “It is odd, seeing you like this.” 

“I may be the Allfather and King of Asgard, but I am a husband, a father and an Aesir man before all of that,” Odin stated. 

“Is it odd I often forget that?”

“Just remember that that too is your life, you are his father and Alexandra’s husband, after that comes everything else.” 

“She is not speaking to me again.”

“She has just had a child, she is undoubtedly speaking to many.”

*

“Alexandra?”

“Allmother,” Alexandra bowed from her bed. “You arrived quickly.”

Frigga studied her daughter-in-law’s demeanour. “Of course, darling. As soon as we could after Loki informed us.” 

“Is Nikolas alright?” 

“He is fine, he is with his father, how are you?”

“Okay, I think.”

“Just think?”

“I want him back.”

“I understand, but you need to rest, Loki will care for his son.”

“My son.” Frigga frowned. “He is mine, not just Loki’s. I birthed him, I am his mother, he is mine.” Anger surged through Alexandra as she tried to get out of the bed. Thinking swiftly, Frigga used her seidr to stop her, knowing that she needed to remain in bed, fury filled Alexandra’s eyes as she tried to fight it. 

“Darling, you have to rest, you have to keep your strength up to tend to him, Nikolas needs you to rest and eat well to give him the best possible care and milk, the kind only his mother can give him.” Alexandra ceased struggling at that, causing a flicker of a thought to come to Frigga. “I will have Loki come in with him, alright?” Alexandra nodded. “One moment.” Frigga turned and walked to the door swiftly, stopping and smiling for a moment as she watched her husband speaking gently to their grandson, Loki and Thor, who had also joined the family while she was in with Alexandra staring at him worriedly as he did. “Loki, you need to settle Alexandra.”

Loki rose to his feet, “What is it?” 

“There is something ailing her in her mind, I think she feels as though you are staking full claim over Nikolas, she got angered when I mentioned he was your son.” She explained. 

“I do not know what to do,” Loki admitted. 

“When you said you were going to alert us to little Nikolas’s arrival, what did you say to her exactly?” Odin queried, his tone still calm as he looked at his grandson. 

“Just that, that I was going to tell you.”

“What words did you use?” His father pushed. 

“I said I was going to tell my…” Loki’s head fell back at his realisation. “My family, I said my family.”

“I do not follow,” Thor admitted, looking between his parents and brother. “We are his family.”

“We are,” Odin nodded in agreement. “Loki’s family, and what family does Alexandra have at this time, who has she to inform? This is why I always warned you both to heed your words, a blasé comment to you is a piercing of a poisoned spear to another.” 

“She feels alone, she had neither her mother or father to speak with and I went and made every comment I stated on her being part of this family obsolete.” Loki shook his head before walking towards the bedroom, his mother stopping him by gently touching his arm as he passed. 

“She is angry, just be prepared.”

“I am remorseful, that will be my greatest shield.” He pressed his lips to his mother’s hand, “Thank you, mother.” 

“Anytime.” 

Loki walked into the room to see Alexandra straining to get out of the bed. “Where is he?”

“With his grandparents for a moment, you and I need to talk.”

“I need him back,” She stated as she got to her feet. 

“You need to rest Alexandra,” Loki ordered. “You cannot tend to him if you do not rest. We will have to get him a nursemaid, you said you did not want that.”

“I do not.”

“But you will not allow it that you can tend to him, so clearly you do.”

“I want my son.” 

“And you will have him in a few minutes, his grandparents and uncle will not be able to stay long, so he is getting to spend some time with them while I try to make amends.”

“Amends?”

“I have wronged you,” Alexandra said nothing. “I have referred to my parents as my family, not ours because that is what they are. I have not asked you how you feel, going through something your mother suffered so greatly with, nor have I asked you how you feel not having her or your father here for this. I have been so smitten with our son, I have not thanked you for everything you have done, for all you have endured to give me such a gift as fatherhood and a healthy boy, and I have not told you that your gift, your sacrifice has made me the happiest man in the realms in calling myself your husband.” He stated as he wrapped his arms around her. “You have given the realm an heir, you have secured our reign, but you have also made it that we have a son, our son, not mine, ours.” 

“I…”

“I understand, you are not an emotional being, you become silent when you feel emotional, but not this time.”

“I am not sad, but I end up crying.”

“Mother explained that to me in one of her letters as a warning, it is completely normal, your body had to alter to carry him, now it is altering back, as quickly as it can so that it can deal with tending to you and Nikolas, which means loading all of this onto you at once, but I am here, whether to hold you or for you to yell at, I am here, Alexandra.” 

“I hate you for being so nice.” She growled against him, causing him to laugh. “It is not fair.”

“How so?”

“How can I be angry at someone who is nice?”

“We could call Mikhail here and let you yell at him?” Loki smiled as her response was to curl against him as she usually did as she slept, in an affectionate manner.

*

When Nikolas was announced to the realm, once again, the new monarchs broke tradition. The father always was the one to show the child to the realm, but as both wished to do so, they agreed his uncle would do it. Loki made more than one comment on Thor dropping his son, but Thor was surprisingly good with his nephew. Mikhail seemed irate that not only had the new heir been a boy, but that clearly Alexandra did not suffer as her mother had with producing heirs. 

*

All too soon, it came time for Thor’s wedding to Anna, which meant the family going to Asgard for a time. By then, Nikolas had learned to control his head and was sleeping most of the night and recognised his parents within moments of hearing their voices or seeing them. They sat in the carriage that was going to bring them across the Bifrost bridge to the city, watching as the realm went by, Nikolas feeding as they went. “Do you think he will recognise them?” Alexandra pondered aloud as they went. 

“I would usually say no, but he is my son.” Loki grinned. “Why is the wedding being brought ahead, though, it is somewhat ridiculous.”

“Not when Anna is already carrying a child and it is better to not let such be known to the masses,” Alexandra stated. Loki stared at her open-mouthed. “You did not…” His continued shock was her answer. “Your mother stated that in her last correspondence to me, Anna is a month along, they need to make it seem as though it is legitimate.”

“So they are going to pretend it was conceived tomorrow, after the wedding?” Loki growled. Alexandra nodded. “They are cheapening our son’s conception, if any find out about this child, they will accuse us of the same.”

“So what if they do?”

“We stuck to the rules, we behaved ourselves.” 

“It does not matter, Loki.” Alexandra dismissed. “We know the truth, that is all that will ever matter, let them be petty.” 

“It is not right,” he growled. “He is a legitimate heir.” 

“What about the coachman?” Alexandra smirked, knowing how to best divert Loki. 

“Well, you were still married by then, so you know.” He grinned, not able to remain angered as they jested. 

“You seem somewhat tense,” Alexandra noted. 

“I have had some things irk me of late,” Was all he responded eyeing her as she took Nikolas from her breast. Knowing there was going to be nothing more said to enlighten her to her husband’s bad mood, she simply winded their son. 

The wedding was more lavish than theirs, not that either minded, and the answer to Alexandra pondering in the carriage was yes, Nikolas recalled them, or his grandfather at least, who, in front of delegates, royals and dignitaries from all realms, doted on his grandson, propriety be damned. 

“So brother, how is Vanaheim?” Thor asked jovially as the feast came to an end. 

“Fine.” 

Thor looked at his brother in concern. “Are things still bad with your wife?”

“My marriage is none of your concern, worry only about your own.” He snarled back. 

“Loki?” Thor looked at him baffled. “Brother, what ails you?”

“Ails me, I will tell what it is that ails me,” Loki hissed, leaning in towards Thor. “I have been made aware of the current state Anna is in and you dare try to mimic my good fortunes with Nikolas, if this is found out, my legitimate son will be smeared along with your brat.” Odin sat beside Loki, his head nodding ever so slightly as he subconsciously agreed. 

“It was not planned, brother.”

“Really, I did not gather as much.” He growled sarcastically. “I would never have assessed that for myself.”

“Loki,” He turned to see his wife had returned to the table. “Not now,” she stated under her breath, angrily, Loki did as she requested, instead turning back to his father, who was sitting Nikolas on his lap, using his stomach as a way to assist the youngster to sit up. “He will return to Vanaheim with us father,” Loki warned.

“I think he rather stay here with me.” Odin grinned, looking down at his grandson, who was staring at Gungnir with interest. “Not yet young man, when you are older.” 

“Wait, why is Nikolas being told he can touch Gungnir, when we were warned not to touch it for fear of our lives?” Loki asked indignantly. 

“Because you would have caused great mischief and Thor great destruction.” 

Loki had to concede it was true. “He may be my image in more than appearance, though, father.” He warned. 

“He may, but Norn’s his mother has to have some part in him also.”   
“I fear the only part I have in that boy was carrying him, the poor soul suffers being too similar to his sire.” 

“He is a lucky child,” Loki growled. 

“You forgot the ‘un’ at the beginning.” Loki glared at his wife.

*

 

“So what is it that is irking you so, husband?” Loki turned to see Alexandra getting ready for bed behind him. “And do not say Anna and Thor’s little plan, for you have been getting increasingly angered before our coming here.” 

“When is Nikolas moving to his own chambers?” He asked, not answering her question. 

Alexandra looked at her husband curiously. “I did not think we were considering such yet, he is still young.”

“He is almost starting foods and can almost sit unaided, he should have his own rooms,” Loki declared. 

“But he still feeds at night.” 

“I will bring him to you if that is a concern.”

“What is going on Loki?”

“I want some semblance of order in the bedroom.” He argued. “I want to sleep at night without worrying about waking him, to read my books, to…” He looked at her longingly and turned away. 

“Ah, I see now your issue.” 

“I have no issue.” 

“You do, you are pent up with tension.” Alexandra scoffed before her face became serious. “Though I thought…”

“Thought what?” 

“You have the heir you wanted.”

“We have an heir, so that is fulfilled yes, but I…” Loki stared at her in realisation. “You assumed I only sought you to breed a child?”

“Did you not?” 

“Norn’s no.”

“Then why?”

Loki looked at her somewhat crestfallen, “I thought...nevermind.” He turned to leave. 

“Do you think we will ever be happy?” He turned back to look at his wife. “I was hoping that if we ever had children, we could, we seem to get to a point, then one or the other of us sabotages it, as though we are unable to allow ourselves happiness.” She stated sadly sitting on the side of the bed. “I feel as though we never will, will Nikolas realise such? Will he think we only bear each other for him? Are we destined to implode?” 

Loki found himself walking over and kneeling in front of her. “I want Nikolas to feel as though his parents at the very least care deeply for one another, that even if they do not love one another, there caring and understanding, that they are in someway happy.”

Alexandra looked at him. “Are you?”

“Alexandra, do you recall when you first were told of how we were to be wed, what emotion surpassed all others?”

“Dread.” 

“Why?”

“Because you hated me.” 

“Did you not hate me?”

“Not really.” Loki frowned, “I mean, you irritated me, but you were the only one to ever challenge me in any way. I always found that as much as I acted like I never wanted to see you, I looked forward to it, against my better judgement.” 

“You...Really?”

“Yes, I have no idea why, you only became more and more rude, so I had to become more and more rude, then we were wed, and you were actually really kind and respectful and as much as I could not understand it, I was grateful you were as good as you were, so many men would not have been as kind. Then when it came time to birth Nikolas, you were there, when so many other men would refuse, you were there, and you made sure I was able to do everything in the way that felt right to me." Alexandra explained, much to Loki's shock. "Thank you, Loki. I am so glad you are my husband. So many women are forced into such terrible marriages, but I got you, I was lucky, not many women are fortunate, especially at our rank to love and be loved, to have someone like you." She smiled kindly. 

For a moment, Loki smiled back, not paying too great a heed to what she was saying before his eyes widened. "Wait, what? Love and be loved? You…you love me?" 

Alexandra's eyes widened as she realised what she had admitted to. "I…" the hope in his eyes caused her to smile. "Yes, I think I do." 

"Think?" 

"I have not loved any before bar my parents, or indeed my closest friends, but they are so different, are they not? And Nikolas, no bond I have goes as deep, but the one the comes closest is you." She admitted with a blush. "I love you, Loki, I am glad I am your wife, I would not change my circumstances for all the ore in Vanaheim. 

"Likewise," Loki leant forward, pressing his lips to hers, hoping it was the start of the next phase of their marriage, a happier, more fulfilling.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Right, after adding about 4 chapters to my assumed original length, I have completed this, I hope you enjoyed me toying with your emotions once more :D


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